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AIBU to say sorry is sometimes not enough?

(73 Posts)
TanzaMum1 Sun 26-Feb-17 16:46:47

Okay so I've just been shouted at and called some lovely names by my 17yo because I wouldn't give him £50 to 'pay back' a friend. I understand it puts him in a difficult position - basically he sold someone a camera, gave DH the money to look after and I took £50 that he owed me from that money. When he had to refund the money it was £50 short because I'd taken what he owed me. He just came and said sorry for shouting at me and calling me names but I told him that sometimes sorry is not enough and he needs to understand money is not like smarties and it's not okay to shout and bully people like that. Parentings just so hard sometimes but he has to learn he can't get his own way just by shouting.

saoirse31 Sun 26-Feb-17 18:35:07

Well...you took his money without his permission. Stole it in other words.

SaorAlbaGuBrath Sun 26-Feb-17 18:36:15

So you stole the money owed to his friend and wonder why he's pissed off? You sound like my mother.

IateallthePies654 Sun 26-Feb-17 18:37:12

You should have asked him if you could have the money, he could have then worked out his finances.

NerrSnerr Sun 26-Feb-17 18:38:13

You can't just take money you're owed without asking. How on earth do you know it didn't have to go elsewhere. I think you probably need to apologise to him.

SaorAlbaGuBrath Sun 26-Feb-17 18:38:51

In fact, I shouldn't have said you stole it. But when he needed it to refund his friend, you should have returned it and found another way for him to pay you back. If lending him £50 left you skint, you shouldn't have given it to him.

MiddleClassProblem Sun 26-Feb-17 18:39:58

hmm

DH was looking after it, it wasn't his/yours to take. You nicked it, you owe him.

PastysPrincess Sun 26-Feb-17 18:41:52

It's not right for you to just take money from him in the first place; that wasn't his money, he was the custodian of it, so essentially you have stolen his friends money.

MyKidsHaveTakenMySanity Sun 26-Feb-17 18:45:55

I'm sorry, I do see where you're coming from but I agree with the others. You cannot simply take money from someone who owes you. Yes he owed you but that doesn't give you permission to "steal" it back.

Charleyyy Sun 26-Feb-17 18:53:33

You are beinf unreasonable. That money isn't even your son's. Even if it was, you don't help yourself. You discuss money with him. Tbh I'd bloody shout and call you names too. You've put his friend (presumably of a similar age) out of pocket. Give him the money back, and maybe you should think about whether your apology will be enough.

MadameJosephine Sun 26-Feb-17 18:53:59

He's not the one who should be apologising!

LavenderDoll Sun 26-Feb-17 18:54:55

Give him his money back. It wasn't yours to steal

colonelgoldfish Sun 26-Feb-17 18:56:39

YABU!

You've taken money that he owes his friend and are now turning it around onto him by telling him 'sorry isn't enough' when he was (rightfully) angry at you confused

This is just what my mum used to be like and we now have a very strained relationship. I think you should apologise to him, give the money back and discuss some other way for him to pay you back.

Fruitcocktail6 Sun 26-Feb-17 19:13:17

I know this isn't AIBU but YABU.

NormaSmuff Sun 26-Feb-17 19:18:02

you shouldnt have just taken it op shock
you should have had a discussion about it,negociated

Soubriquet Sun 26-Feb-17 19:20:53

You shouldn't have taken that money!

Yes he owes you but you don't take the money! You wait until he gives ir to you

How bloody rude of you.

SaorAlbaGuBrath Sun 26-Feb-17 19:25:03

Actually, in legal terms, you haven't taken it from your son. You've stolen it from his friend who asked for a refund.

RebelRogue Sun 26-Feb-17 19:25:34

While OP shouldn't have just taken that money and it was bloody daft,I can't believe how many people seem to think that it justifies her son shouting at her and calling her names. She should apologise for taking it though,especially without asking. And give it back.

Soubriquet Sun 26-Feb-17 19:28:06

No he shouldn't have shouted but I expect he was shocked to discover the money wasn't there and was then frustrated because he found out his own mother had stolen it

Still no excuse for agressively shouting but still

My MIL used to raid my DH's money box whenever she felt like going on a shopping spree. In her eyes she paid for his food, clothes and toys she he owed her. She felt she could take what she want when she wanted. It made him so cross.

She still tries now to get money out of us but we don't speak anymore

HerOtherHalf Sun 26-Feb-17 19:30:12

Actually, in legal terms, you haven't taken it from your son. You've stolen it from his friend who asked for a refund.

I'd say she's taken £50 from her DH. If she took it without DH's knowledge then she stole from DH. DH still owes DS the full amount that he agreed to keep safe for him.

SaorAlbaGuBrath Sun 26-Feb-17 19:31:52

Her DH was holding the money for their DS, technically it belonged to the DS and once the friend asked for a refund, the friend.

MadMags Sun 26-Feb-17 19:33:07

My god you were so out of order!!!

HerOtherHalf Sun 26-Feb-17 19:36:07

Her DH was holding the money for their DS, technically it belonged to the DS and once the friend asked for a refund, the friend.

That makes no sense in law or otherwise.by that logic, if i deposit money with a bank and the bank gets robbed you reckon the robbers stole my money. They didn't.

NormaSmuff Sun 26-Feb-17 19:40:47

my step dad raided my hard earned piggy bank, for alcohol sad

SaorAlbaGuBrath Sun 26-Feb-17 19:42:46

The friend paid for the camera, returned it and asked for a refund which he was entitled to. The reason OPs DS couldn't provide that refund was that OP had taken it.

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