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Year 13, first boyfriend, PT job, exams

(3 Posts)
Travelledtheworld Sat 25-Feb-17 13:13:57

Just want a bit of hand holding here.

DD is now 18 in year 13 doing A levels. She is bright, at a very good school and aiming for a geographically distant Russell Group university. We have always got on really well and she shares a lot of things with me.

But recently a "friend" has become a boyfriend. He is at same school repeating Year 13 due to an exam mess up last year. I haven't met the BF yet and don't know his family although they live fairly close and this is a small town.

She didn't want to tell me about the BF but I knew they were spending lots of time together and when she came in with love bites all over her neck the other night I knew what was going on. I Lao know they have been going out of college and spending afternoons at his house. Now they have got a part time job together, a few hours after school

So I told her I was pleased she had a boyfriend and hoped he was kind to her and they would have fun together.

So we have had a brief conversation about safe sex and I have pointed her in the direction of the local sexual health clinic. They can walk there from school if necessary. I have emphasised the importance of sticking with school, doing school work and getting good results.

So that's it really isn't it ? I need to step back now and let them sort out their lives ?

Just feeling a bit lonely really because I am single parenting. Her Dad is overseas, very highly salaried. If she messes up exams, or even worse gets pregnant he will not bail her out financially. If she does well, he will pay her maintenance costs for university, and see her on a firm step towards independent adulthood.

Any advice out there ?

JustDanceAddict Sat 25-Feb-17 14:26:54

Mine is younger but yes, you've said/done the right thing. They're adults so you can only advise.

FantasyAndHope Sat 25-Feb-17 14:51:12

I feel like we are on a similar journey. Apart from dd is a weekly boarder and her boyfriend lives 1 hour away. Although it's hard you can't stress about pregnancy etc and musn't show her your stressed about that. You need to maybe sit down and have the talk with her and maybe tell her or you book an appointment for the doctors for contraception. You can only guide her and help put in prevention methods although no contraception is 100% but it's still way better than nothing as it protects against STI's. offer guidance but step back. It's hard because she is your baby. Dd work seems to have a taken a lil back seat as she wants to reply to that text asap. But she is the type of girl who responds to results so should she see her results slip I'm hoping she'll twig that she needs to become focused again.
All you can do is support her and be there and embrace this new relationship. It's incredibly hard! I know and I'm a single parent too! Encourage a good work ethic and safe sex

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