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Any other sole parents of new Uni students? 😐

(6 Posts)
tnoosa Mon 20-Feb-17 22:31:29

I would be interested to hear any feedback from other parents, single or not or maybe someone brought up by sole parent, who supported them through University. My daughter is 18 and starting a 5 1/2 year double degree this month. I am very proud of her but am struggling a lot financially despite being employed full time and am daunted about prospect of being broke & getting into more debt for the next 5-6 years of helping her complete her degree and living at home. She will get a small youth allowance and hopes to continue working part time for around 10 hours during term time. She pays for her cheerleading classes and phone plan and puts petrol in my car at times when she uses it (which has been a lot). My ex-partner (not her biological father but very much her dad) helps where he can but believes she should be paying board whilst at Uni&living with me to teach her responsibility and help me out. I m struggling with that idea but at this point not sure what to do. I d like to add ,despite being an awesome kid/young lady, there is little help from her around house,only when I specifically ask or get mad 😣😣 Any experiences or tips welcome !!!

Howlongtilldinner Mon 20-Feb-17 23:03:37

I am a LP. My DS started uni last September. He got the maximum amount of loans, due to my pittance of a salary, but I still 'bolster' him up. The difference here is my DS is not committed to uni, and doing a 'soft' degree, my take is he's following the crowd. Personally I wanted him to get an apprenticeship or job, but not my decision to make.

If my DS was committed, and worked hard doing an academic degree, or at least something he was passionate about, I would take on another job to help him.

Howlongtilldinner Mon 20-Feb-17 23:04:45

Oh and his 'Father' is a waste of space..no support there..

tnoosa Mon 20-Feb-17 23:19:37

Hi Howlongtilldinner 😊 thank you for your feedback! It remains to be seen how much effort my daughter will put into her double degree ( Law/ international relations ) or if cheerleading will still be her priority like it was in her gap year. Here in Australia university students can put their degree costs onto HECS, which they start repayment once they leave university and earn over a certain amount. Getting second job is not option at moment as I m completing a Diploma of justice myself ( a struggle while working full-time but that's another story lol). I hope to finish that by August 2017 ,by then i will get better idea on daughters dedication on studying. Her biological father is also no help, very proud of her efforts but proud doesn't pay the bills 😐 her dad, my ex , bought her books for first trimester at Uni

Howlongtilldinner Mon 20-Feb-17 23:31:05

It IS difficult. You want them to have the best possible chance in life, but you have to be realistic too. If you cannot support her then you cannot, simple as that.

For her to have to work, and doing that sort of degree, will be incredibly tough for her, she will have forests of reading to do!

If I saw hard work,conscientiousness, and passion, I'd happily be skint..eventually she will be earning a lawyers salary, it'll pay off in the end.

tnoosa Mon 20-Feb-17 23:45:04

You are very right in the bit about seeing effort and dedication from her. Possibly a good idea for me to see a financial counselor to work out something like a budget where we can comfortably live on my income without going into more debt. Hopefully my daughter will remember her good old mum once she is in a successful career 😂😂 She wasn't so much interested in becoming a lawyer ( other than maybe human rights ), but more in direction of working for UN or somewhere like that. I will keep plotting away to encourage her to do more (anthing!) around the house, too ,that will help my sanity

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