my 13 year old daughter is constantly telling me she hates her life because i'm her mum. I had her relatively young (21). We just constantly argue and the looks I get off her are of pure hatred. I didn't have the best upbringing and was deprived of a lot so I vowed to be the best I could for my daughter and give her everything she wanted that I could afford. I am worried now that I have spoilt her too much and made her into a 'spoilt brat' she has no respect for me or her father and shouts and talks to us worse than something you have trod in. If I ask her to empty the dishwasher or tidy her room in just ends up in a screaming match with me in tears and ruining the night so I try not to ask too much. I really at the end of my tether and am starting to get a little depressed and thinking maybe she would prefer if I moved away?
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But you're not actually keeping her happy are you? Teens will push again boundaries and make stupid choices. Their bodies and world changes rapidly and they have lots of stress and peer pressure to contend with. They need parents to be consistent and predictable. Will she kick against some rules? Hell yeah! Is that normal and healthy? Totally.
Buying her everything she could possibly want and caving in to all demands when she throws a strop won't make her happy in the long run or lead to an adult equipped to deal with life.
And no it's not easy. It's hard. Being a parent is.
I'm so sorry for your loss. 
My children are very messy, especially the teenagers. Asking them to tidy their bedrooms is like banging my head against a brick wall! I have decided to pick my battles and if they choose to live in a room that is untidy then it's up to them. I never collect their cups, plates etc and they're responsible for sorting out their own washing (well they put it by the machine but that's good enough for me). If it's not put there I don't wash it!
I find with my 15 yo dd that if she is rude she gets nothing. I won't pay her phone bill, pocket money etc. I always tell her I'm her mother not her friend and I don't care if she doesn't like me because I love her and everything I do is to keep her safe and to be happy. I'm not strict but I set boundaries and whilst she means she has confessed she quite like that I do this!
Good luck, hopefully it's just hormonal and she's grow out of it soon enough 
Screaming matches at her age aren't uncommon hun. Hormones etc are getting in the way of rational thinking. But when she's shouting and screaming like this and you're giving in to her just to keep the peace, then she's won. It's EXACTLY what she's wanting. She knows if she kicks off then you'll give in and those chores you asked her to do, well she'll get away with not having to do them because you've relented and backed down to her. So while you're crying and hurting, she's sat laughing in her room thinking "got out of that one again!"
You're not a bad Mum and alot of teens say they hate their live's ( it's becoming a new phrase, I've heard it alot!)and they hate their parents etc. But it's just because they are at that age, high school, hormones, peer pressure, boys etc.
Have you spoilt her too much? Maybe so. But it's easily done especially when you've not had a cracking upbringing yourself. It's sooo easy to over compensate with your own kids. I didn't have a fantastic time from being 12 as my Dad fell ill with mental health issues and life was like walking round on eggshells as we didn't know what kind of mood he was going to be in from one day to the next. We didn't have a lot of money either.
I don't judge people who spoil their kids, each to their own but in my experience, the kids who are spoilt are the ones who lack respect because everything is too easy. They get things without needing to ask and they think they should get respect without earning it. At the same time they have little respect for others. When they are young it's easy to spoil them. However when they get older it gets harder because they want the lastest gadget, phone, iPad etc and it's not cheap and that's when u have to start saying no. When they've been used to gettin what they want and you suddenly start telling them no it's such a big shock to the system.
She doesn't really hate you and you must never ever think that moving away is the best thing to do. Youre her Mum and as much as they hate to admit it at their age, she needs you in her life.
Have you tried speaking to a family member about your feelings? Someone neutral who your DD is close to who can speak to your DD and tell them that she can't treat you like that because it's upsetting you so much?
You really need to set some ground rules and tell her "like it or not, this is how it is and your behaviour is totally unacceptable". I would not stand for my kids screaming and shouting at me like that. It's easy to scream and shout back but don't! That's what they're wanting. Sometimes it's easier to give them a taste of their own medicine and say 'whatever" and just ignore them when they're carrying on. Walk away, don't react. And watch her reaction when she can't get a reaction out of you! 
Op, I am dealing with the same thing and you have all my sympathies, it is so hard.
I don't think it is because you are a young mom, I'm an old mom and my dd says she hates me too
Those of us who didn't have great upbringings are at a disadvantage because we don't have a great example to follow, we over-compensate and we are not as confident in ourselves (which our teens can sense)
You MUST get the book "Get out of my life, But first take me and Alex in to town" the very first pages discuss starting arguments in order to get out of tasks. This book has been a huge help to me.
Good luck! Stay strong
Op - how does your DD behave outside of home? If she is doing ok at school and behaves politely at friends houses then she (and you) are not doing as badly as you may think!
The "Get out of my life" book explains that teenage behaviour is split between trying to gain independence away from us (taking responsibility for themselves) and then coming home and reverting to "baby self" behaviour. Obviously, as parents, we get the lion's share of the latter.
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You clearly love yiur daughter and want her to be happy.
You just have to re evaluate what it is that makes children happy - and that is usually boundaries and knowing someone cares enough to put those in place and stick to them! Seems simple but it's the easiest cycle of negativity to get into.
I've watched a very close friend get into it. Life I'd miserable. Her DD want something, she immediately says no, there's yelling and screaming and then they get it. If they want lifts they get them. She won't make weekend plans because she doesn't know what her girls want to do and what lifts they need and then similarly when she's dropped them some where won't meet for coffee in case they need transporting elsewhere and needs to go.
They are not happy children. They struggle to understand rules are there for a reason and apply to them. They also flit from friend to friend because they fall out with those who's parents won't let them out until homework is done or chores are done - they want readily available friends.
I believe the best way (I may be wrong!) is to increase independent etc in a logical order. So start with sorting own bags, making own lunch, laying table. If a child wants to go out with friends they need to be able to earn the money to go and get on a bus or walk to go. It's not realistic to be making a 13yo breakfast, tidying up after them, dropping hemp here's hey want to go and handing out cash. There's no sense of acheivement or independence involved. I truely believe teens need to feel that sense of acheivement and earning rewards and knowing the lipstick they've just bought was due to their efforts - not just because mum gave them a tenner to shut them up!
Everything you've done so far has come from a real position of love. Therefore you are best placed to make positive changes because they will also come from a position of love.
my own ds has ASD and comes with his own set of challenges! I truely empathise with that feeling of thinking you are doing your best and what's right and it biting you firmly on the arse
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