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My anxiety

(6 Posts)
user1486561414 Wed 08-Feb-17 15:16:08

Hi - I'm really new to this so please be patient with me. I'm struggling to set some boundaries with my 16 year old daughter. she wants more freedom and independence and I'm finding it hard to let go. the latest thing is that she wants to go from Wakefield to Manchester on her own to meet a friend and stay at that friends and come home the next day. I don't personally know this person but they have been friends for about 2 years, always skyping, on social media and on the phone. I don't feel able to let her go and all she keeps doing is reminding me that she will be 17 in September. Any advice welcome.

user1486603480 Thu 09-Feb-17 01:58:48

I understand entirely I have 16 year old twin boys and want to know where they are all the time I've told them there is not a lot I won't let them do as long as I know where they are.

Don't think I'd let my child go to manchester I'm from Wakefield area too but if you do Wether your daughter likes it or not address she's going to, mobile number of parents and some contact with then if possible whatever makes you comfortable if she questions it tell her it's an exercise in trusting her if she does all of it your more inclined to give her freedom.

Bensyster Thu 09-Feb-17 08:07:32

Can you sit down with your dd and explain how uncomfortable you are with this situation. Outline your concerns and ask her if she can think of ways to address them. Could you drive her there for example? Speak to the other girls parents on Skype.

user1486561414 Thu 09-Feb-17 08:56:59

thanks for the responses. she seems to have reluctantly accepted my decision (for now) but I think I do need to have another conversation with her as I'm sure this will come up again. we both need to be clear what the rules are as user1486603480 said i.e. contact with the persons parent(s) address details etc. so that next time I don't feel as anxious.

yes Bensyster, I can talk with my daughter and I had considered a compromise such as driving her or letting her go and come back in the same day.

swingofthings Sat 11-Feb-17 21:17:44

Has she actually met this 'friend' in real life before? Been to her house before?

I personally would have had no issue with the travelling, but would have refused for my DD to go and stay overnight with someone she only knows online. In this instance, I would have wanted to speak with the parents first. Coming back the same day seems a good compromise.

Kanga1973 Sun 12-Feb-17 20:08:10

She hasn't met this friend in person. The Manchester trip isn't an issue now as she knows she isn't going but I know another instance of this type will occur so I need to have the discussion with her anyway, set some boundaries etc. I do feel conflicted though and often feel confused as to what the best decision is. She's had a difficult year and I feel I'm over compensating

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