My two teenage sons and the nightmare of school mornings!(102 Posts)
PLEASE can I get some advice?!
We have two teenage sons (16 and 13) and since the summer, they have been a nightmare getting up in the morning for school - especially the younger one.
They are always in bed at 10pm Sun-Thurs (they have to be ready for bed before that) and we don't allow them to take techy stuff into their rooms at bedtime, as I know they would be on it.
I am sick of having to repeatedly shout upstairs every school morning for them to get up and the last two mornings, they have both almost been late.
It's getting to the stage where I'm starting to dread weekday mornings, cos it's like Groundhog Day over and over!
I don't want to treat them like babies but I'm so bloody annoyed, I was going to suggest they go to bed a bit earlier than 10pm, to see if a bit extra sleep might make them stir themselves.
I'm probably kidding myself but it has been going on constantly for months and I'm at my wits end!
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
No advice but I have exactly the same problem with my teen girls (15). I'm up and down the stairs about 6 times before they emerge and it gives me the rage, not a good start to the day.
I've been tempted to back off and leave them to it as Garnet suggests, but I know one of them wouldn't care if she was late and I don't want her college applications to be affected by late marks.
Thanks Garnethair - that's what a few friends have said to me as well. Might teach them a lesson or two, as the HT at their school is a real disciplinarian and stands outside every morning to catch the late-comers.
Let their alarm clocks wake them. If they don't get up then shout them 5 minutes later. If they still don't get up go and chuck a glass of water over them.
Or, you know, let them be late and take the punishment dished out by school.
Teenagers brains discourage early starts but you can overcome the problem by allowing them to take responsibility. Loud alarm clock each (might need to go outside door or across room from bed). Tell them to get themselves up and ready as your voice is now tired. No nagging, no popping up to check. If they are late they accept consequences. They may have to miss breakfast (keep some ready made smoothies in fridge) or run all the way but that's their choice.
I started fining mine for not being ready to leave at the right time!
I was sick of shouting to them as well. It worked. I only had to fine one of them once.
Thanks for all these suggestions - they are all great!
I will be telling them over dinner tonight about the fine being imposed as from tomorrow morning, if they don't get up on time - and glasses of water will be on standby!
This brought back memories of my brothers. My Mum used to pull their duvets off the beds and soak them with a water pistol. At the time it was the only water that touched their skin. They were revolting. Took about a week of this to get them to get themselves up.
One of them is now a barrister and the other an Arch Deacon. Lessons learnt!
Don't do the glass of water, it's horrible and their reaction won't be what you are expecting.
Let them take responsibility for getting to school on time, there own alarm set. Leave them to it.
Agree with the idea to let them cop it at school. Or try something along the lines of withholding the wifi password in the evening if they're not up by a set time.
Either way, don't wear yourself out shouting and giving them the opportunity to ignore you.
Turn off the wifi at bed time. In the morning, if they are not ready at the door with their belongings and having had breakfast, then the wifi gets turned off earlier by 15 mins. Repeat until they are ready, then they earn the time back again each day til they are back at the beginning.
No anger, no shouting. Explain the system first, then implement it. Make sure they know before they go up when it's being turned off, and call up the stairs a five minute warning so they can save work, extract themselves from games etc.
They won't take long to learn.
What is far worse is when they are older and have less to get up for. I can't really stop my 20yr old staying in bed, and it winds me up!
I've tried that pickle, sounds great in theory but unless they're both ready it penalises the one who has got ready in time!
I don't like the water thing either, but feel your pain!
How do they get to school? My DCs are an absolute nightmare in getting up, the one thing that works for me is saying if they aren't ready to leave the house on time, I will accompany them to their school bus stop to make sure they catch the bus. For repeat offenders, DH and I will both accompany them and we will hold hands
Bribery, punishments, blackmail, etc didn't work but that worked. If they're dropped off, you can threaten to go in with them? Or if they walk, with them.
Oh and leaving their mobiles downstairs so they had to come down to get them. An additional tactic is to sneakily text/Snapchat or ring these phones yourself so they come down to see who wants them
and then moan at you
My three did this. I would be bordering on hysteria every morning. In the end I had to toughen up so I would wake them and tell them to get up, then try again in five minutes and if still not up I left them. They had to suffer the consequences at school/college. It's really hard but they soon take responsibility.
Yeah I agree to letting them. When I was a teenager, it was my job to wake my dad up to get him to bring me to school (and him work!).
I used to lie in at the weekends, but I never had an issue during the week as I knew I'f be in terouble.
Primary school is different where the blame would lie with the parents if late, but at secondary, teenagers are pretty much responsible. They have to be in life too, so this would be a good introduction to the real world.
Let them know on Sunday night you won't be calling them. Then on Monday morning, don't call them.
Whatever happens don't give in. But facilitate them with manual alarm clocks or whatever they may need.
ds is getting this way.
My only recourse is his phone. So if you are late, then you can't take phone to school.
I do think though that if you ask a teen to be ready at say 7:30, then anytime before 7:45 is consider being 'on time' Of course this falls down when there is a train/bus to catch.
Thank you so much folks - I'm wondering if I should do the "No calling" thing?
They both have alarm clocks but the older one won't use his and the younger one uses his but just switches it off and goes back to sleep!
Set a loud alarm clock outside the door every 5 minutes and put the lights on in their room. I have similar mornings. my 2 are a little younger. My son just started high school and my daughter at end of primary. Their alarms go off and they don't get up and it drives me mad. I end up yelling all the time, my daughter dithers around and it makes my son late as his school starts earlier. He seems not too bothered about it which makes me even more irate. I drop them off in the morning and have told them they are going to have to start walking if they keep being late. They get up at the last possible minute and then have a mad flap about missing PE kit or letters to be signed even though I have tried to sort all that out the night before. Fining them from their pocket money is a good idea and also losing 10 mins gadget time x
It is really stressful isn't it mumontherun14?
We've just informed our two over dinner, that from tomorrow morning, they have to be up no later than 7.50am and if they aren't, they are getting fined.
I've also said that they have to be ready to leave the house just before 8.30am, otherwise they will be walking every single day.
Bigsandy making it mutual forces them to cooperate over the bathroom, and knock on each other's doors. Unless it is always the same offender then it's reasonably fair.
Someone gave me great advice before my two started secondary - start as you mean to go on! I made sure my two had a mon - fri alarm function and then told them they were responsible for getting themselves up and out and any detentions would be on their heads - they walk to school, so their lateness has nothing to do with me! They have never been late - both are in Year 9.
My dad used to wake us up every day and then again every five minutes till he lost the plot and screamed and then we jumped out of bed - in hindsight we used him like a snooze function.
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