Eye rolling / muttering under breath behaviours. Aarrgh!

[Dotty342kids]

DS is almost 14. At times lovely, cheerful, cuddly. At other times a grumpy, sullen, stroppy monster! As they all can be at this age..
However, what's really driving us scatty is the eye rolling / sighing / saying "it's fine..." to the most simple, polite of requests. Yesterday's example was the request for him to leave his phone alone for more than five seconds whilst sitting eating his breakfast with me. Cue grumpiness, eye rolling, muttering under his breath and generally huffing. I try to ignore it, I really do but it's SO RUDE
So, do I need to just let this go whenever it happens, or do you pull your teen kids up on this kind of stuff?

[daddyorscience]

I get it from my 7 year old DD..

[FadedRed]

IT is rude. Why ignore it?

[Bensyster]

No phones at the table - that is rude and I would ask them to put the phone away. I don't allow my teens to speak to me in a disrepectful way, they can argue with me but they are not permitted to be rude - just as I am not permitted to be rude to them. I am careful to ask in a polite way....sometimes teens feel a bit humiliated by being constantly told off and treated like toddlers. I find speaking to them as respectfully as possible helps them save face and follow your request without being all sulky about it.

[Dotty342kids]

We definitely don't have phones at "proper" mealtimes, but if he's eating breakfast whilst the rest of us are getting ready / pottering about, then I do let that go (try to minimise the amount of things to argue about!).
Anyway, that's the secondary issue really - was just an example of a recent grouchy episode.

We (well, me more than my husband), always talk to him in a respectful voice and ask him politely to do things, but it doesn't seem to rub off on him to do that in return. Both his and my daughter's default mode seems to be "stroppy" and the more we tell him off about it, the stroppier and ruder he gets - it's a really bad spiral.

Any other advice welcome

[Bensyster]

A certain amount of stroppiness is kormal for this age. The more you tell him off the stroppier he gets - maybe less is more? I know that when dh and I started to be calmer with our teens they responded more positively - when someone is in a bad mood communicating is rarely an easy thing and it's best to discuss it at another time. Dd is grumpy in the morning - we respect that and give her a wide berth till she comes around.

[Northernsoul58]

I'd just Youtube search some Kevin and Perry clips and make him watch them. It certainly stopped my stroppy teen in his tracks. Now we just have to mention Kevin and he knows he's being obnoxious. Mind you, he does have a good sense of humour...

[lljkk]

My bar for getting upset is a lot higher than that.
I'd likely to a panto impression of their sulky behaviour. They'd do anything to avoid repeat performances :).

[specialsubject]

Rudeness results in removal of toys, same as with toddlers.

Tell it not to be a brat.