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DS 15 and older girlfriend

(15 Posts)
Mybeautifullife1 Fri 13-Jan-17 16:53:26

My DS has a 17, soon to be 18, year old girlfriend. He is 15 and in his final year at school. She does not live locally and they meet up about once a fortnight or so in some random city and spend the day together.

I have had "the talk", covered the fact he's underage, contraception and the fact I will not be "cool" if he gets her pregnant. Obviously in another couple of weeks she will be an adult.

Anything else I need to do or think about? Not thrilled with the age gap but not a deal I can do...

Mybeautifullife1 Sat 14-Jan-17 08:09:03

So no advice if there's an older girl. Interesting.

Ditsyprint40 Sat 14-Jan-17 08:14:37

Have you actually met her?

Ditsyprint40 Sat 14-Jan-17 08:15:30

That would be my first concern. Is he actually going to meet who you think he is meeting?

NotLadyPrickshit Sat 14-Jan-17 08:17:45

That & the fact that you let your 15yo go to some random city to meet up with her hmm

PlymouthMaid1 Sat 14-Jan-17 08:24:23

It does seem an odd age gap. Does your boy look very mature for his age? At 18 she I would have thoght that she would be moving in different circles to a fifteen year old boy. I think you need to get to know her. Invite her round for family dinner or something. I think you will have to let it run Its course or the forbidden fruit will be more enticing. Unless she has some sort of special needs or it really is a crazy love situation, I expect she will get bored and move on as there will be lads nearer her age who she can have more fun with. It maybe not as a little bit older and three years is nothing. You are right to be a bit concerned though esp about pregnancy.

PlymouthMaid1 Sat 14-Jan-17 08:26:04

Hmm missed the bit about random city. So this is an internet friendship. In that case I would really want to meet her or at least on Skype.

Fairylea Sat 14-Jan-17 08:27:04

I wouldn't let my 15 year old go to a "random" city, sorry. How did he meet her if she doesn't go to his school?

RubyWinterstorm Sat 14-Jan-17 08:31:50

How odd to go to a random city

Why not to eachother's home?

Once she is 18, she'd be breaking the law if she sleeps with him! I'd not be cool about my "child" (mf) dating an "adult" (m/f)

Are you sure this is all what he says it is? Does she ever come to yours ?

FrankAndBeans Sat 14-Jan-17 08:36:12

Have you met her?!

NotLadyPrickshit Sat 14-Jan-17 08:36:29

Ruby she'd be breaking the law if she sleeps with him now as he is under the age of consent... unless we've now got a sliding scale & I've missed it confused

Beebeeeight Sat 14-Jan-17 08:36:45

Relationships between 15 and 17 year olds are hardly uncommon!

It makes no difference that the female is older.

You should meet her though.

Worst case scenario is he's been groomed online.

Finola1step Sat 14-Jan-17 08:38:51

Have you met her?

NotLadyPrickshit Sat 14-Jan-17 08:41:03

Beebee it's not the age gap that's overly worrying it's the random city meet ups & OP's rather lackadaisical attitude about that that concern me.

My DD is 16 & her bf is 18 so same age gap & they went to different schools, however they met through mutual friends, I've met him (& his mother), he comes to my house, she goes to his house - he's not some stranger that no one knows!

Mybeautifullife1 Sun 15-Jan-17 20:49:59

"Random" as in different cities. They now live over 120 miles apart. They met at school but her family moved back to the place they were originally from. Rather than her traveling over 100 miles (or him) they meet at a point between them both.

I haven't met her. I've seen photos of her and of her and him together. I have spoken to DSs friends who know her. I was obviously concerned that he might be being "groomed" but I'm satisfied she is a real person and they met IRL not online. I'm not stupid.

Part of me thinks it is kind of less "risk" than if she was local and they were spending more time together in each others homes. They wander around the shops, sight see, go out for food. I suppose they "date" in the old fashioned sense. But she's almost 18. He doesn't look 15. He looks older but she obviously knows his age.

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