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Please help with my 18 year old son

(3 Posts)
3329mogue Sun 08-Jan-17 01:12:53

I desperately need some advice. I have always been close with my son. However at the end of year 11 he decided he didn't want to see his dad anymore (who I don't live with). He told me he was depressed and had symptoms of OCD. I arranged for him to see a counsellor but since then our relationship too has disintegrated. He says he hates me and only lives here because he has nowhere else to go. I have told him I miss my beautiful son he just responded by telling me I am a moron and need therapy. I asked him what for and he said there were too many things. He is rude, sullen, unhelpful, has completely stopped working at school (whereas previously he could have been in line to apply for Oxbridge). Sleeps all day, stays away at friends houses constantly so he 'doesn't have to spend any time near me' (his words). I have no idea what to do. He is clearly angry with me but refuses (and I have tried so many times) to talk to me as he says I don't support him in anything and am just angry with him all the time. I have supported him his entire life as me and his dad split up about 8 years ago and my son has always lived with me. I feel completely hurt and betrayed and have nowhere to turn. He is still seeing a counsellor but because he is 18 I am not allowed any insight to that without my son's permission (which he won't give). Help. I feel bereaved, as if I have totally lost my lovely lovely son.

Timetogetup0630 Sun 08-Jan-17 07:52:18

Sorry to hear this Mogue

No real advice though my son almost 17 is definitely growing away from me now.

Is he in his last year at school ?
Could be lots of issues, it's a stressful year and sometimes it's all overwhelming for them. Also on the brink of adulthood when they really need to let go of Mum and become independent, but don't know how to do it. Rudeness and aggression can be quite normal for boys this age.

Be kind to yourself. Be there for him but don't try to run his life.
Does he do anything to get him out of the house and meet other people ?

3329mogue Sun 08-Jan-17 14:22:36

Thanks for the response. Yes he's out all the time - goes out of his way to avoid me. I just re-read what I wrote and realized it sounds like maybe he's just a bit rude and arsey. He's not, he's awful to me and his brother. He has a habit of writing everything down and I have seen a few notes in his room where he talks about how much he completely hates us. Really really nasty stuff. Far Beyond the normal teenage levels of hideousness, having talked to a number of people about it. I think he may need proper psychiatric help.

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