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(7 Posts)
onceacuntalwaysacunt Fri 30-Dec-16 07:55:54

My 17yo son lives with me. He is a lovely boy & I am always getting compliments regarding his personality, kindness etc. He does go to parties & drinks when he is there but never drinks when he is at home.

I dropped my beloved phone on Christmas Day (its dead) & have been using the "spare" back up phone that we keep for events like this.

My DS used it in the Summer & still has his messaging apps set up on it.

Yesterday it was going off every 2 secs. I usually just ignore it but saw a mention of '2gm' & Mandy etc. I did look at the conversation & saw it was my son & others organising to buy coke for NYE. I also noticed reference to 'the last time '.

Absolutely torn as what to do.

Methenyouplus4 Fri 30-Dec-16 08:28:41

Tough one. Guess it depends on your attitude /experience of drugs. Personally, I'd probably leave it as I wouldn't be hugely disapproving but wouldn't want DS to know I didn't object. Most of my social circle experimented in our youth and only 2 went OTT, but both had an addictive personality and had it not been drugs would have probably been drink/gambling etc. We all have families/ professional jobs etc. Personally, would rather kids experimented a bit in drugs in youth than say smoked long term but it all depends how you feel.

As a side, if you do want to say something, I would just be honest as you weren't snooping or anything.

0phelia Fri 30-Dec-16 08:38:59

I think it's sort of "normal" for a 17yo. And not minimizing the situation but it might just be for NYE and not a regular thing?

Definitely tell him you know and don't hide your disappointment. You must be devastated. Just tell him you know, and ask if he wants to talk to you about anything.

0phelia Fri 30-Dec-16 08:43:10

Cocaine is actually a rubbish drig and a waste of money. You get a 1min clean rush then you just want the next line.

It helps cancel out the sleepy effect of alcohol so you can stay awake longer and handle more alcohol which damages the liver and you spend much more money on booze.

I hope you aren't giving him cash gifts!

sleepachu Fri 30-Dec-16 09:14:53

Personally, I'd talk to him about it and not how upset I was but how to stay safe, avoid getting caught, know his limits, drink plenty of water, eat bananas on Tuesday etc. Because I feel like a lad who's left texts about Mandy on a family phone a) doesn't take drugs often and b) mightn't be as streetwise as he imagines. And there's nothing that helps to moderate debaucherous behaviour like your parents treating it as mundane.

specialsubject Fri 30-Dec-16 10:14:06

Having had to clear up the mess left by dealers - give his sorry saddo arse a good kicking and tell him to get a life. This is not a victimless crime.

onceacuntalwaysacunt Fri 30-Dec-16 14:28:59

Thanks for all your advice.

I have taken into consideration all your comments & had a general chat with him about the dangers of drugs/excess alcohol etc. He was very willing to take on board everything I said & knows I am always here if he wants a chat about anything.

I'm not a saint but the extent of my partying at 17 was a bottle of Chardonnay & Cinazo so it just came as a shock

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