Teen breakup

[cheermom9402]

My daughter has been dating this boy for about 6 months. She really is in love with him and they are each others best friend. Some time back he betrayed her trust, she forgave him and things have been great for the two of them. She just found out that he betrayed her again in the same exact way as before. She had decided to end things with him. My concern is this, she is acting as if she does not really care, and I know she does. She has been flirting with a guy friend and I'm afraid she is projecting the feeling she has for the boyfriend on to the friend. I'm worried she or her friend may end up hurt. I know she truly loves her boyfriend and I feel like she is afraid of the pain so she is pretending like it is not bothering her. Please if anyone has advice I could use it.

[eyeofthetigerbread]

Is she a teenager? I think break ups and new relationships and not quite getting over and moving on very quickly are all part and parcel of that stage of life....

Is she asking for your advice? If not, I'd say do nothing. Be there to listen and be non judgemental. That will give you the best chance of being allowed 'in' when she needs you.

[MommyloveX2]

Yes, 14

[MommyloveX2]

Thank you for your advice. I'm trying not to get involved except when she ask me, and even then I just tell her I will support her no matter what she decides. See the first time he messed up, I encouraged her to give him another chance. So now I feel like I owe her nothing but support. I'm just scared she is repressing her feelings, I'm not sure this is what she wants or if she is just concerned about how this makes her look in other peoples eyes. I have not asked her, because I do not want her to think even for a second I'm not on her side.

[MsGameandWatch]

I think what she's doing sounds totally and utterly normal, even healthy. I was encouraged to take relationships very seriously as a teenager and really struggled with the fear of hurt and break ups for years afterwards. She's alleviating her pain with distraction and that's fine to do. Don't make a big deal out of it, just be around if she needs you.

[MsGameandWatch]

And why on earth would you encourage your fourteen year old daughter to give someone who treated her badly another chance?! Honestly I am 😮 at that.

[MommyloveX2]

I know it sounds bad, but at the time it made since. The situation was different and they had not been getting along, not that I think that makes it right, he didn't do anything directly to her, but his actions hurt her. I defiantly learned a lesson on that one. I truly believed he would never hurt her like that again, I did/do believe he lover hers just not enough I guess. Thanks again for your comments.