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how do I get dd to be clean?

(20 Posts)
fryalot Sun 18-Feb-07 20:55:55

She's 13. I have to tell her to have a bath, wash her hair, clean her teeth, wash her hands.... anything that relates to cleanliness in any way she seems pathalogically incapable of doing.

She puts food leftovers in the bin and misses, meaning that I have to scrabble about on the floor picking them up, she tidies up after hours of nagging and you find everything hidden behind the settee (books, toys, food, newspapers, everything!)

If I try to speak to her about this, she tells me I'm 'having a go' and goes in a major strop.

Please give me some advice, as I am at the end of my tether.


colditz Sun 18-Feb-07 20:58:41


i was like this at 13.

My advice would be (my dad did this to me, and it was awful but it did work) to follow her around with chocolate buttons and whenever she acts like a toddler, patronise her.

She will strop and eye roll, but it might work.

He also dumped a load of jam on my head to MAKE me wash my hair, but although it worked I don't recommend it because it is hell to get out. I did wash it though.

fryalot Sun 18-Feb-07 21:00:23

thanks, colditz. Did threaten to put contents of bin on her head tonight, but didn't carry through with it.

Will try the chocolate buttons.

theslownorris Sun 18-Feb-07 21:02:16

I shall be watching this closely-my dd1 is 11 and just like this too .

colditz Sun 18-Feb-07 21:03:00

The actual bribe of the chocolate buttons won't work (or if it does you're lucky!) but you following her around patronising her might.

To my shame, when I was 13 the contents of the bin wouldn't have bothered me. The jam only worked because it was summer and I was scared of wasps!

colditz Sun 18-Feb-07 21:04:29

It was a control thing with me, definately.

When I moved back in for 6 months aged 21, my dad still used to ask me if I had had a wash and brushed my teeth. And I used to say NO just to wind him up

fryalot Sun 18-Feb-07 21:06:24

so, what age were you when you started to wash independently of parents? (Please tell me 13 1/2, please tell me 13 1/2....)

fryalot Sun 18-Feb-07 21:16:41

colditz Sun 18-Feb-07 21:17:33

definately by 15.

But don't be heartened by that because...

It was because of Boys. Sorry.

Marscentio Sun 18-Feb-07 21:20:08

Welcome to my world. Sigh................... I wanted her to say 12 1/2!

fryalot Sun 18-Feb-07 21:20:29

Thanks colditz. I will wait for the boys!

RustyBear Sun 18-Feb-07 21:20:42

For the personal cleanliness thing, probably when she gets a boyfriend...
As for the leaving food around, DD is 17 & just beginnning to sort it without me nagging for England.... (though she did tidy up after her party yesterday & I only had to ask her twice & put the dustpan into her hand....)

fryalot Sun 18-Feb-07 21:22:33

It gets very embarrassing when the front room looks lovely and clean, you invite people round and they sit on a piece of yesterday's toast that she's stuffed down the settee cushion where it can't be seen!

heypickme Mon 19-Feb-07 15:52:58

my dd is 12 too, i cant tell you the amount of times a day i say to her have you done your teeth did you get washed, get up and get dressed etc....... trying to get her to have a shower and wash her hair is a nightmare i even get my husband to say something to her in the hope that she will be embarrassed but nope not her.

This may sound awful but we constantly tell her she stinks of bo which she does most of the time and her hair is so greasy.

Now when she asks to go anywhere i say no that she cannot be trusted as she cant even manage to keep herself clean.

I follow her around every 2 days at least telling her to get in the shower, 50 times later i get, what i will have one in a minute,

If anyone figures out the cure for this please let me know.

My ds was something like this but not as bad he is 15 now and is in the shower everymoring and is very clean hair teeth etc....... never really had to nag him anyway as he is a very good kid

mumeeee Tue 20-Feb-07 21:32:12

Hi squonk. That sounds fairly normal behavior for a 13 year old. DD3 15 was like thia at that age but has been washing and bathing without being asked since she was 14.
Her tidying up has now got better but she still needs encouraging to do it properly.
DD2 17 has been washing and bathing without being asked scince she was 12 and she will tidy her room but we uasually have to remind her to do it. So I think it depends on the child.

Waswondering Tue 20-Feb-07 21:36:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkbubble Tue 20-Feb-07 21:41:03

Crumbs I thought this kind of behaviour was only my DD. Up until 2wks ago I had to tell what and when to do things, at the mo she is spending ages in the bathroom at night- bathing, really dont know what she does in there but the door is locked for at least two and a half hrs! Although in the morning its, come on, come on, come on- have you done this? have you done that?- funny enough she is always truthful and tells me no! Clothes all over the floor!

Do any of your DDs take sweets or crisps and hide the wrappers in their bedrooms? Mine is terrible for this and it really worries me!

nappyaddict Tue 20-Feb-07 21:42:32

i have bathed every day for as long as i can remember...i just caried on doing what my mum did when i was old enough to shower myself. definitely from the age of about 8.

pinkbubble Tue 20-Feb-07 21:53:21

I bathe the other 2DDs regulary, so dont think this is her problem, I think as they get older they get lazy, I have known DD1 to stand upstairs running the water for toothebrushing with toothebrush under water and yet toothebrush does not come to contact with her teeth! why all that effort and not clean her teeth- its almost a kind of rebellion!

mmelody Sat 24-Feb-07 10:38:38

My DD is 12 and baths every night unprompted. She washes her hair and brushes her teeth twice a day and loves moisturiser and perfume and all things girly.

Her bedroom however is another matter..clothes all strewn over the floor, festering plates and dirty knickers and sweet wrappers YUK!

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