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My son's girlfriend is pregnant [title edited by MNHQ]

(252 Posts)
Vickyb1465 Sun 27-Nov-16 21:08:55

My boy, just turned 20, has got his girlfriend pregnant. She's 21 and really wants the baby. We are 7 months in, he also now wants the baby. I think he thinks of it as a new belonging. He has no job, not looking for one, she doesn't really care..I can't afford a baby....what the hell do I do 😔

Soubriquet Sun 27-Nov-16 21:13:11

First of all your son is not pregnant

He got his gf pregnant

Second of all, at 21 and 20, they are old enough to make their own decisions. It's got nothing to do with you

You don't need to afford it. It isn't your baby

honeysucklejasmine Sun 27-Nov-16 21:14:31

Everything that Soubriquet said.

Does she have parental support?

GazingAtStars Sun 27-Nov-16 21:14:32

It's not your problem. If he's man enough to father a child then he can figure out how he's going to pay for it

Vickyb1465 Sun 27-Nov-16 21:16:28

Yes he is pregnant, it takes two, therefore he is equally as pregnant as her. He lives in my house, so when he has no ones for nappies or formula do I simply say ....not my problem. This will be my grandchild

blueskyinmarch Sun 27-Nov-16 21:17:38

Your DS is 20 and needs to sort out any plans to do with the baby with his girlfriend. You don't need to be able to afford the baby as it isn't yours. You need to be there to support and advise your son and be a loving grandmother.

Vickyb1465 Sun 27-Nov-16 21:18:37

Christ...what is wrong with you lot! I don't want fuck him he's a bloke and got her know not all blokes are assholes....and no she does not have much family support

sparklefarts Sun 27-Nov-16 21:18:40

It takes two therefore he is as equally pregnant as she is

Are you on drugs?

PberryT Sun 27-Nov-16 21:19:07

Equally as pregnant....!!! She's carrying the baby for 9 months and all he did was have sex.

Your attitude is horrendous.

He needs to work out how he's going to be a good dad.

blueskyinmarch Sun 27-Nov-16 21:19:07

And if your son really wants to be a good father to his child he needs to get off his ass and find a job. I would say you need to prioritise helping him to see this.

kezmarie Sun 27-Nov-16 21:19:32

We are 7 months in.

I'm sorry is this baby your sons and his girlfriends or yours?

They are both old enough to sort this out themselves.

NoCapes Sun 27-Nov-16 21:19:57

Erm no, they are not 'equally pregnant' she is pregnant, he is the father
Do you think your son will also be giving birth? Hint: he won't!

Soubriquet Sun 27-Nov-16 21:19:57

He is not as pregnant as her

He won't suffer 9 months of morning sickness, heart burn, headaches, possible SPD and all the ailments that come with pregnancy.

He won't suffer labour and all the after birth problems

He WILL need to get off his arse and go out and get a job to support his baby

Vickyb1465 Sun 27-Nov-16 21:20:29

Well great, I'm supposed to turn my back on my eldest son because he's a grown up.....well done mums net....

FarelyKnuts Sun 27-Nov-16 21:20:50

Only women can get pregnant. He may have fathered a baby but it doesn't make him pregnant.
He is not 15 yo and dependent on you. He is 20 and able to get a job and support his child like an adult.
If he can't them you will do him no favours by bailing him out and keeping him dependent.

HermioneWeasley Sun 27-Nov-16 21:20:57

He is not equally as pregnant, but once she has given birth and recovered he does need to be an equal parent.

He needs to get a job. Helping him with this is pretty much the only practical thing you can do.

NoCapes Sun 27-Nov-16 21:21:04

confused who said that vicky??

kezmarie Sun 27-Nov-16 21:21:51

If he's a grown up he can sort this situation out himself.
The benefits system is a marvellous thing for jobless and homeless new parents.
Maybe giving him a kick up the rear end will kick start him into being a responsible adult, boyfriend and father.

monkeyfacegrace Sun 27-Nov-16 21:22:19

I clicked on this thinking it would be something totally different.

Why don't you concentrate on parenting your 'boy' and make him get off his lazy arse and get a job?!

roundandroundthehouses Sun 27-Nov-16 21:22:47

You need to be there to support and advise your son and be a loving grandmother.

Which part of 'turn your back' and 'Fuck him' is that? confused

There's a hell of a lot of experience on here, OP. If anybody is inappropriately sticking up two fingers at someone, it's you.

Soubriquet Sun 27-Nov-16 21:22:48

No has said you have to turn your back on him

Just said you can't support every single thing he does. He is a DAD now and needs to support the mother of his baby and provide for his baby.

You can't do everything and you shouldn't do everything. You are a nan. Not a parent

StillaChocoholic Sun 27-Nov-16 21:22:56

Your son is an adult and you've put this in the teen section confused
He's not pregnant, he is an expectant father but not pregnant and a bit shitty to be saying he's as pregnant as she is when she's the one going through everything associated with pregnancy.
He's an adult, she's an adult, let them sort it themselves. There comes a time when you have to step back and now is one of those times. Mainly because he's an adult.

Vickyb1465 Sun 27-Nov-16 21:22:59

do you know what this is completely pointless ....ill find another way you lots are nasty... Thanks for your helpful advise

PoldarksBreeches Sun 27-Nov-16 21:23:23

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GinIsIn Sun 27-Nov-16 21:23:26

He really isn't 'equally pregnant' hmm

You have to let him make his own mistakes and choices, so it really isn't your place to interfere.

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