Teen DD

[Nookiebear]

Hi
I'm relatively new here so please bear with me, our lovely DD is nearly 16 and has had a terrible time at high school and thank goodness there are only a few months left then onto 6th form college away from the bullies and nasty bitches who have bullied her throughout. However DD is so very low and this week we have found it a struggle to get her to go into school, yes she has gone in but mainly in year leader room, and yesterday teacher rang me to say she was actually worried about her and that we should keep a close eye on her this weekend, as she asked her on scale of 1-10 where she would put herself and she said 1 OMG!, also her friends don't understand that DD is low and state things like no such thing as depression and you just feel sorry for yourself, yes teens its all about me, me, me, however DD has had to cope with so much in her teen years, 3 bereavements and bullying to boot!, and school were more than useless, and recently found out after a meeting with principal that none of the bullying issues have been recorded, and also the old year head as left under a cloud! says everything. I feel awful for DD as today she had planned to meetup with an old friend however that friend as changed plans and no longer meeting up,so now DD is just staying in all weekend, though I'm taking her to pictures tomorrow. What can I do other than be there and give her cuddles and say we love her. She did have a brief boyfriend, for a month,but they cooled it, (too much GCSE year for boyfriends) and I believe he is in her friendship group!, which adds to everything, I really feel my heart is breaking so much for her, and also she announced she doesn't want to do anything for her 16th now, as anyway her friends won't want to come along anyway!. Dr appointment for her on Monday. I so wish I could magic the next few months away and see her happy and smiling. I just want her to be happy and be out and about not sitting in her room day in day out, and watching social media and feeling down, we have said to stop watching FB and SC etc as it is not real. Apologies if I have gone on a little, as new on here, would love to hear from any other mums who have similar experiences or have teenagers.
Thankyou for reading, Mx

[chocolateworshipper]

If you can afford counselling, do it. GP may suggest CAHMS, but ask about waiting times - round here it is useless. I am speaking as a mother of a DD who self harmed after similar problems. I wish you the very best of luck

[Mummyof02]

Hi nookie

Speaking as young(ish) person myself (I'm 20 now) four years ago when I was in school I had similar issues to your daughter and could definately relate to how she is feeling I.e feeling low and not apart of things such as friendships and relationships with peers. What I discovered for myself is when I left school that's when I was able to find myself as I was away from the peer pressure to feel 'popular' etc as when you leave school Everyone kind of matures and grows up abit so bullying and girls being bitchy happens a lot less in places like college and sixth form and people discover who their actual friends are, and this helps to feel more comfortable in your own skin and feel confident and when this happens a person will find it easier to make genuine friendships in the mean time however perhaps encourage your daughter to spend time in real life doing things she enjoys and will make her happier rather than being on social media, also trying new hobbies such as ice skating or rock climbing etc will do wonders for her confidence and just try help her to realise and remember what she's giving through now is only temporary and won't last forever,

[Monica53]

Thank you for replies
DD did eventually go out for a few hours yesterday, and I no she spoke with her 'friends' on messenger etc about party,and have read a few of her messages this morning as I keep a check on her FB page, and had argument with one of them OMG about how she is feeling!, really so upsetting, I'm hoping she will be OK tomorrow at school after Drs and will speak to her friends, as I've had a chat with her and said just explain to them how she feels so low etc. She will be leaving school next June to go to 6th form college and I do believe will be the best thing, as more responsibility for herself etc, as the school has to many bad memories/experiences for her. We've also tried to get her involved with activities outside of school, although it is hard as she did loads of things horse riding.dancing etc but her old friends who bullied her said some awful things about her doing these activities that she refuses to try anything new, even though we've explained it may make her feel better and also she was very good at her dancing and so loved horse riding and actually volunteered at stables for a short while. Thank you for replying xx

[Monica53]

Hi - Thankyou for replying and giving advice, also I have changed my user name, thought I'd let you know in as noticed name in my response. Thank you againx