Messy teenagers - please put my mind at rest

[BG2015]

I have 2 teenage boys. They leave devestation wherever they go!

Bedrooms are a nightmare, in the kitchen they don't wipe down surfaces, put away milk, butter etc etc and washing a dish is unheard of, the best I get is them piling them up in the sink! Despite the fact we have a dishwasher!

They leave shoes, coats dumped in the hall when there are perfectly appropriate places to put them.

Is it me? Or are my kids disgusting creatures. Despite the fact that I'm constantly telling them what I expect from them!

[BG2015]

Must just be me then

[Thatwaslulu]

Mine's the same. Apart from dishes and mugs don't leave the sanctity of his bedroom until they have cultivated spores that could possibly heal a small country stricken down with an evil infection.

[WetNovemberDay]

Sounds much like my husband!

[asmadasmax]

Not just you .. My teenage daughter drops her coat, bag and shoes in the middle of the living room and never wipes down the work surface, although she does often put the milk etc away. We have an agreement about washing up, which she sticks to 75% of the time. Her room is awful .. Used plates in bed, food stained sheets, make up everywhere ... Clothes everywhere ....

[Howlongtilldinner]

Add to that..inconsiderate/ungrateful/selfish/entitled/

[Wolfiefan]

If mine can't find the dishwasher or leave food out I go and get them and tell them to put I straight. They can't ignore that. They ignore asking. AKA nagging!
Pick your battles. Coats etc are a hazard.

[Rubymay]

I hate being the nagging mum for 3 teenagers but omg the bedroom of my eldest is bloody awful.... you can not walk into the room without tripping over clothes, over flowing bin & plates and cups everywhere!!! I avoid the room now!! it would take 30 mins to tidy the room and the only way it gets clean is if his phone is taken lol

[Wolfiefan]

No food in room. Simple!

[MakeItStopNeville]

We've made a compromise. I want their bedrooms to be tidy, they couldn't give a crap. So, we went for they make (vaguely ) their beds, don't have food in their room and put their laundry in the laundry chute. Then, I clean their rooms. I figure it's much easier to be a miserable teen in a miserable bedroom. But I'm an annoying SAHM of teenage children so I have time to do that shit. If you're not, don't worry about it!

[onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad]

Another mother of a teenage boy checking in. His room is appalling - ankle deep in clothes with crockery piled up next to the bed although I make him bring it down after a couple of days, wet towels strewn everywhere. He even takes off the duvet cover and bed sheet and sleeps on a bare mattress almost as if he is relishing the dossiness of it all. Said he likes it like that. I'm at my wits end with him.

[TheFlounder]

This was me as a teenager. The only thing that worked for my poor DM was checking it daily after it had been cleaned and pulling me up on it every time.

[BG2015]

onemorecup, my son does EXACTLY the same!!! I find it really annoying.

My mum went in his bedroom once and said "why has J not got a sheet on his bed?"

I didn't know!

We live in a 3 storey house and the boys are on the top floor. I put up with it as I don't venture up there much but it's the mess they leave in the kitchen that annoys me.

[onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad]

BG2015 - why do they do that .. just why? I'm glad it's not just my teen but I cannot get why they want to sleep in a stripped bed. Bizarre.

[TheCakes]

Wow. I thought DS was odd/exceptionally scuzzy with his sheets.

This is a thing?

[StillMedusa]

My boys are 19 and 23... and still the same!
23 yr old will take a bin bag, bleach and polish to his room once in a while if I nag... or he has a girl coming round

But he is currently in Oz for a year and when he left I warned him I was going to blitz his room... god it was grim! However I did retrieve a LOT of missing pint glasses, mugs and cutlery! (Let's not even THINK about the bag of sex toys I found under the bed...)

DS2 not so bad, just has to be nagged to bring down water glasses.

Neither can apparently find the dishwasher!

[specialsubject]

All dumped items go in a bin. If they are lucky it is not the rubbish bin. If matters don't improve , tell them it will be the rubbish bin, then follow up threat.

And as one aussie hostel owner said to me 'it is quite clear why their parents give them a lot of money to go as far away as possible'. At least he got some cash for cleaning up after these skanks, but British gappies have their reputation for a reason.

[IAmNotACat]

Never mind boys, I was a very messy teenage girl. Now my house is as clean as can be at all times. It's a phase.

[nokidshere]

I don't discuss my two teenage boys bedrooms with them, if they want to live in a tip it's up to them as long as it doesn't encroach on the rest of the house. To be fair they are pretty good at self regulating the mess now and clean up reasonably regularly.

If they leave a mess elsewhere in the house I go and make them do it immediately

[Groovee]

My dd is a nightmare!

[misshelena]

Dd16 is a nightmare too! I make her close her bedroom door because I don't want to see it. She has two big closets in her room but nothing is ever hung up and drawers are overflowing and never closed. Clean and dirty clothes, used tissues, candy wrappers, half used make up and lotions everywhere! She thinks she is wearing a fashionable dress but all I see are the wrinkles on it. I've given up fighting with her about this. Too much stress!

[GasLightShining]

Have a DD & DS and they both as you have described OP

[BG2015]

We had a BIG discussion about it last weekend. I shamed them a bit in front of my partner (not the boys dad) and said we were both fed up of coming home to a mess in the kitchen in the evening. Both boys really like and respect my partner so they were a bit embarrassed.

I said they can do what they want in their rooms (to a point) but public areas have GOT to be kept clean and tidy.

So far it's worked! The kitchen has stayed tidy! Fingers crossed it stays that way!

[Ledkr]

If dd makes toast she dies just that and no more so butter dish lid off, knife on worktop, jam lid off, crumbs on bread.board, bread left out unwrapped.
It's the fury she shows when I ask her to clear it up, as if she somehow thinks I'm being unreasonable

[Ledkr]

Even dirty knickers on the landing, gusset up for all to see.

[GasLightShining]

Ledr Have you adoped my DD?!!! (sat here staring at the plate she left in the sitting room as god forbid she puts it in the kitchen)