DD has a friend (male) coming over for at the weekend (not staying over). They are both 14. He’s at a different school, they’ve only met in person once, and their relationship is based on lengthy skype calls / snapchatting plus one afternoon together at his house. She says she loves him and he’s told her he loves her but she’s not sure whether they are really boyfriend and girlfriend 
Recently he was caught (along with other boys) with nudes of another teenage girl on his phone, DD swears there were none of her.
Anyway - we have a spare room with a sofa bed which relatives use when they stay over. It was made up as a bed last weekend & we hadn’t taken off the sheets etc. until yesterday, & DD asked whether we could leave it made up as a bed for this weekend so she can use the room with him to watch TV in the afternoon. I said no - she thinks I’m being incredibly unreasonable.
I just have this feeling that leaving it made up as a bed sends out the wrong message. I suggested she could pull it out & use one of the throws from the living room, and cushions etc to make it more comfy - not acceptable apparently. She was so cross that she wouldn’t look at me, let alone speak to me, for 24 hours (this is very unusual, we normally get on well, despite the teenage raging hormones). This evening when I finally got round to folding it away into a sofa again she said “so me and BF have to just sit on it like that, do we?” & "You don't trust me do you?" She also asked – “why are you so over protective about this?”
I told her I feel very uncomfortable about a pair of 14 year olds lying in a bed together behind a closed door in my home. And that there will be no bed sharing in this house until they are at least 17, if not 18. (DS tried to get away with it last summer when he was 16 when he and his GF "fell asleep by mistake" after watching a film and I threw him out of the room at midnight).
I’m refusing to get into a debate about it because I just know that - with her lightening sharp teenage arguing skills - she will spin it round, put words into my mouth, interpret everything wrong and we’ll end up fighting.
This is the first time we've had a confrontation about anything to do with boys, and I expect it won't be the last...
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Sharing a sofa'bed' at 14? I don't think so!
PingPongBat · 22/11/2016 20:22
SirChenjin he's certainly a dreamboat to her Apparently he wants to apologise to me & DH for the upset he's caused her. I'm looking forward to that conversation...
Oh I'm sure he does
Please report back once you've had that conversation - do make sure he breaks a sweat, won't you? 
I wouldn't let my DSS have their girlfriends to stay, and my DS won't have his to stay until he is at least 18 if not older. If anyone is going to be having sex in my house it's going to be me!
I will SirChenjin - certainly anticipating the joy of watching him squirm
Reporting back - he came for the afternoon, they lay on the sofa bed watching films, we all had dinner together, he was very polite & helpful but there were a few awkward silences, we gave him a lift home... and a fortnight later he's decided he doesn't want to be her boyfriend. What a prince, indeed.
Regarding the photos - a head teacher friend of mine reckons that "all teens do it" and an isolated incident is nothing to worry about. Not sure I agree with that, & of course there's no way of knowing whether this was isolated or not but he seems to have got away with practically no repercussions apart from no access to his mobile for a week. I'm very relieved it's "over" (whatever "it" was!) & she's unlikely to see him in the flesh again as they're at different schools & he lives in a village 15 mins away by car. Oh - and there was no apology / explanation about the photos either
he's decided he doesn't want to be her boyfriend. What a prince, indeed.
What?! Why does he have to be your DDs boyfriend? Hardly a prince indeed for deciding he doesn't want to be in a relationship ffs.
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