14 year old dd depressed and withdrawn at school

[CosyLulu]

I'm really worried about dd. She has become increasingly quiet, kind of sad and angry at the same time. More angry actually. But like she's holding it all inside. She has had some counselling in the past for OCD and I know it's bothering her again so we have revisited and have an appointment for the new year. She had a complicated friendship with 2 girls which has caused her a lot of distress over the last 12 months. These 2 have now buddied up together and pretty much excluded her. They do try now and then to ask her if she's all right but she is so angry with them and can barely stand to say their names to me right now. I'm not sure how much of them leaving her out is because she's become so difficult or if she's become so difficult because of them leaving her out or if it's both. I've had so many sleepless nights about her lately - we talk quite a lot but it's hard to get through her wall of anger and silence. I'm really really worried. Is this a kind of breakdown? Does anybody else have experience of this kind of thing? I spoke to her Head of year who said he had noticed a huge change in her as well and was already concerned - it was he who said she was 'withdrawn.'

[CosyLulu]

Any ideas at all would be really gratefully received ...

[misshelena]

She needs to see a therapist. Friendship issues are very common at this age, but dd is clearly not dealing very well on her own.

I know it's very distressing to watch one's dd suffer. Sorry this is happening to you and dd.

[CosyLulu]

Thanks misshelena. She will be getting a course of CBT but probably not until the new year.

[Clara66]

I feel for you CosyLulu. Is your dd's counselling via camhs/gp or private? Is it possible to get private counselling straight away, maybe for low mood rather than ocd?

My dd suffered from depression starting roughly at same age, partly with a lot of distress caused by so called friends. She withdrew from us too, I tried to ensure we had regular mother/daughter time and sometimes she opened up. It was a very difficult time for the whole family so ensure you look after yourself too xx

[homerboy12]

I too feel your pain, we are going through exactly the same. DD had a difficult year last year and lots of traumatic events for our family. When she needed her friends the most, they let her down. Too busy to understand what anxiety/panic is, they left her out of events and meet ups, adding to her already anxious state.
It is heartbreaking and although one of lifes lessons, when someone is feeling already challenged this is the last thing she needed.
It is difficult in Year 10 to start again.... but now looking to school for further help.