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Does your 13/14 year old still have a bedtime?

(28 Posts)
Dancergirl Mon 07-Nov-16 23:21:08

Dd is 13.5, Year 9. Her lights out time is supposed to be 10.30pm which I think is already late, but it is usually later.

Tonight she's faffed around for ages and is only NOW (at 11.15pm) making her packed lunch for tomorrow. She's been home since 4.15pm without a huge amount of homework.

I'm annoyed with her. What do you do about bedtime at this age and how do you enforce it?

Her phone is off by 10pm btw.

Fairylea Mon 07-Nov-16 23:24:57

Our dd is 13 and doesn't have a set bedtime but she has to be upstairs in her room by 9.30pm and no phones etc after this time (all plugged in to charge in the kitchen). She's welcome to read, listen to music or watch DVDs on her wifi free portable DVD player.

We seem to be somewhere in the middle of strictness compared to her friends. Some seem to be on their phones etc all night long and some have an earlier bedtime (sleep time!) than she does.

She's very good at self regulating and I can't think of a time when I haven't gone to bed myself at 10.30/11 ish and already found her lights out and her fast asleep.

ThornyBird Mon 07-Nov-16 23:25:27

Dc1 (15) doesn't but has always been very good at self regulating

Dc2 (13) has a bedtime of around 9.30 depending on what's on the telly (Eastenders normally gets him to bed earlier wink) I tell him lights out when I come up if he hasn't already. Tonight he was asleep when I came up at 11,

That said, both of them get up without any bother in the morning and leave the house on time each school day.

Fairylea Mon 07-Nov-16 23:25:33

Meant to add of course if she has a party or we all stay up to watch a film then of course bedtime etc goes out of the window!

Wolfiefan Mon 07-Nov-16 23:27:35

Y9. To bed around 9 ish.
Prompt her to do lunch etc earlier.

MakeItStopNeville Mon 07-Nov-16 23:30:42

13.5 and bedtime is 9, except on two evenings when she has sports practice until 830. Electronics turned off and in the basket by 830. She has to leave for school at 715 though.

BackforGood Mon 07-Nov-16 23:33:17

Not a particular time - depends what they are doing.

dd1 (now 18) was always good at self regulating and takes herself off at about 9 if she'd not out.
dd2 (now 15) has always been a faffer but has never needed much sleep. She never went to sleep before 11pm until she was getting on for 3. So I do't worry too much about it, but do encourage her to be aiming to be in bed by 10. Rarely asleep before 11 mind.

danadas Mon 07-Nov-16 23:38:53

Not really, my 13 year old self regulates. She had a couple of nights of staying up all hours (we started this in the holidays) but the novelty quickly wore off and she sorts herself out.

She has to be home from friends at 8pm on a school night though.

Effic Mon 07-Nov-16 23:39:29

Lights out by 9.45
DS does a gazillion hours of sport though so often goes earlier and is always cold by 10. Doesn't move much. I often check for a pulse in the morning!

Dancergirl Mon 07-Nov-16 23:43:59

So what do you do if they aren't good at self regulating as my dd clearly isn't??

ThornyBird Mon 07-Nov-16 23:55:53

Put Eastenders on winkgrin

Seriously though, mine make pack ups in the morning anyway so don't faff with that at night, same with packing bags.

Dc2 is generally either trying to smuggle his phone up to bed or watching Family Guy so I take his phone/turn the TV off so all he can really do in his room is read (well that's all I'm willing to think about) which helps him sleep anyway.

I can't force him to sleep and as someone who struggles to get to sleep 2/3 nights a week, it is grim to lie awake in the dark waiting for sleep. If he is laid in bed reading then that will do for me.

marvelousdcomics Tue 08-Nov-16 07:23:04

Dd(14) is in yr10. In bed by 9. Gets up at 6. She falls asleep at around 10ish, so gets a good 8 hours sleep.

Ds(13) in bed by 8.30. Up at 6 too.

Badders123 Tue 08-Nov-16 07:25:58

On schooldays it's up at 9.30 and Lights out for 10

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Tue 08-Nov-16 07:26:42

DS is 13 and our loose rule is in bed by 9 on a school night and lights out by 9.30. No bedtime at weekends or in the holidays, but we get up so early on school days and he needs the sleep.

Fairylea Tue 08-Nov-16 07:32:27

I think (and I may be totally wrong here just a suggestion!) that I would make your dd make her packed lunch straight after dinner or give her school dinners and make the no gadget / wifi time 9.30 or even 9 on a weeknight with the incentive that if she can get herself off to sleep by 10.30 then she can have it back until 10.

Loadsatulips Tue 08-Nov-16 07:55:06

My 13 year old dd goes up at 9.30-10 and has light off at 10.30. She manages fine on this - although I find it hard going to bed at nearly the same time!!!!
My 11 year old needs to be in bed for 9.15 otherwise she is v grumpy so not sure what will work for her when she is 13.

stupid123 Sat 12-Nov-16 16:36:20

Lights out by 10pm seems fair.
I'd say no gadgets screen time from 1 hour before lights out though. Last hour should be packed lunch making, school bag packing, clothes set out, then finally some reading.

But,,,,, as teenager get older, good luck enforcing all that LOL

DixieNormas Sat 12-Nov-16 16:42:54

Mine goes to sleep at 9.30, occasionally 10 if he's watching something. I don't ban gadgets/tv after a certain time

Heifer Thu 17-Nov-16 11:25:41

I used to send DD up at 9.00 but this year (YR8, almost 13) she just isn't ready at that time, so it's now nearer 9.30pm and then she is allowed to read for a while.

She has never needed much sleep although during the holidays she did actually sleep in late in the morning, so maybe that is changing.

School days she literally jumps out of bed at 7.00am - am sure that is to make sure she gets ready to leave by 8.00am.

I've let her stay up late to watch I'm a Celebrity this week so will be interesting to see how she copes. Once it's over then it will be back to 9.30/9.45.

Also all gadgets to be left downstairs.

Flowerpower321 Thu 17-Nov-16 11:30:25

Wifi off at 9pm, lights out 9.30/10pm. Up at 6.30am.

Myusernameismyusername Thu 17-Nov-16 12:51:45

I make them go to bed around 9.30 but the faffing about is very annoying.

Last night bed by 10 only then for all of us kept awake till 11.30 by the very irritating cat who I could not keep quiet so all very tired this morning

Kim82 Thu 17-Nov-16 12:59:49

15 year old ds has to turn all electrics off and put them on charge downstairs at 10.30pm. After that he can read or whatever until he's tired and goes to sleep. He's bloody awful at getting up in the morning no matter what time he goes to bed but I've recently refused to spend ages getting him out of bed, it's up to him to set an alarm and get up. I won't get him up any more.

TantrumsAndBalloons Thu 17-Nov-16 13:04:18

My ds2 (13) has 10pm bed. Phone and iPad off at 9.30. He does his homework when he gets in apart from Tuesday and Thursday which is football training.
At the weekends he has to be up at 7am Saturday for rugby and around 7-8 Sunday for footnalll so he goes to bed around the same time

Off season he tends to stay up a bit later at the weekend but will most likely be found asleep on the sofa by 10.30 smile

StuntNun Thu 17-Nov-16 13:14:03

I really hope my 13yo DS1 doesn't read this thread or I'm going to be in trouble. He's year 9 and will be 14 in January. His phone, iPad and laptop are all set to switch off at 7:30 p.m. The phone and iPad are on OurPact which stops downloaded apps from working but he can still access texts. The laptop has Windows 10 parental controls that log him out automatically at 7:30 p.m. He also isn't allowed TV after 7:30 p.m.

He has to be in bed with his lights out by 9 p.m. He has asked for a later bedtime but he is difficult to wake up at 7 a.m. (sleeps through his alarm clock which wakes up the other children) so he has been told he can't have a later bedtime until he can get himself up in the morning.

swingofthings Thu 17-Nov-16 14:32:01

Bedtime stopped after they were about 11. Both of them have always been good at going to bed though and problems were with them getting up too early for many years!

Instead of a bedtime, I monitor their level of tiredness. I'm in bed long before them (I'm up at 5am, so am usually in bed at 9:30) so don't really know what time they actually go to sleep. They do get up on their own though (OH and I are gone to work before they wake up) and they have never been late for school once (they are now 13 and 16).

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