Girlfriends

[YeOldMa]

Our DS has just turned 16 and has just found "love" with a girl who he was friends with. In the past, he has been allowed to have the girl up in his bedroom to watch DVD's or use the computer so whilst we were slightly uneasy about it, we just interrupted their viewing on a regular basis and made them leave the bedroom door open. However, now they are more than friends we are more concerned as the young lady has not long turned 15. We have obviously had many conversations over the years about girlfriends, sex, etc., not least because my step-son got his girlfriend pregnant before she was 16 and he was 18. His mother had moved the girl in and had believed my DSS when he said there was no sex going on even though they shared the same bed!
My DH and I are aware that no matter how sensible you boys are, they are also subject to a very strong sex drive at that age and we aren't sure how to handle this. Our other grown up kids used to take their "friends" to the study which was next to the lounge or they shared a room with a sibling which was a bit inhibiting but the setup is very different with our youngest.
What would you do?

[comoneileen]

I am not sure you can really stop them if they really want to.
Hope you discussed safe sex and contraception.

[YeOldMa]

Lots of talk done here about safe sex, contraception and discussing the reasons why it is better to have children when you are in the right place. You are right, comoneileen, you can't stop them if you are determined to but I don't want to make it too easy for them either. Both my husband and I just find it so stressful when they are upstairs on/in his bed even though they are fully clothed!

[misshelena]

I think the most important thing is that, if they are having sex, they are having safe sex. At 16yo, they'll probably have sex whether you like it or not. Don't make it too easy for them by doing what you are doing now, but try not to get too stressed out. It's bound to happen sooner or later.

[YeOldMa]

Thank you misshelena. When my DD's were young I was worried they would get pregnant but knew if something went wrong, it wouldn't be the end of the world and we would support them through any decision they made. I think I am more worried that the girl is only just 15 and that my DS will get into trouble.

[leonardthelemming]

Since he is 16 there is a slightly greater chance he could get into trouble than if they were both 15. On the other hand, there is only a year between them and the law is intended to protect young people, not punish them. As long as everything is mutually consensual trouble is unlikely.