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Dealing with aggression from DD's friend

(7 Posts)
SilverBirch20 Wed 02-Nov-16 18:31:40

My 14 year old DD was at a friend's house at a sleepover last weekend. There were three girls there, the host, my DD and DD's "Best friend". There was a dispute and the best friend slapped DD on her back and head. DD rang me at 11.30pm to ask me to bring her home from the sleepover.

Only two days later the best friend turned up at our house as if nothing had happened. It was on the tip of my tongue to confront her about her behaviour, but I held back as I wondered it this would be inappropriate. As a parent, do you have a right to tackle bad behaviour directly with other people's teens or is this totally unacceptable?

Thanks for any advice.

ImperialBlether Wed 02-Nov-16 18:33:46

Does your daughter still want to see her? Did she want her in her own home?

SilverBirch20 Thu 03-Nov-16 08:43:37

My DD didn't want her to come round but didn't know how to say no unfortunately.

ifonly4 Thu 03-Nov-16 11:17:56

A "best friend" doesn't slap someone even there's a dispute/argument. They might have a few words and upset, but that's the limit.

If you can I think it's wise to try and keep out of the argument. If DD didn't want her to come round, she's obviously not happy at the moment. All I'd try and do is steer DD in the right direction, listen to her and encourage other friendships.

If this girl comes around again and you're sure DD doesn't want to see her, then I'd just say to this girl that you understand there was upset at the sleepover, DD is still upset and at the moment doesn't want to see her.

SilverBirch20 Thu 03-Nov-16 13:41:01

ifonly4

That is good advice. Thank you!

monkeywithacowface Thu 03-Nov-16 13:46:40

Agree with ifonly4. Have had similar issues with DS's mates. He's at the age now where it's difficult to intervene in these friendship issues so we are spending a lot of time getting DS to think about which friendships are healthy and make him feel good and learning to have the confidence to walk away from those that aren't.

We also try to encourage him to socialise with a variety of different friends rather than always hanging around the same ones

Berthatydfil Thu 03-Nov-16 13:53:15

If your dd doesn't want to spend time with her at the moment then next time she calls round you could tell her dd is busy/in the bath/ doing homework/just about to go out etc rinse and repeat each time she calls round. Hopefully she will get the message.
Or you say well actually friend, dd is still upset you hit her at xs sleep over so I think it's best you don't come in. Bye! Shut the door, message delivered plain and simple.
Ask dd which she prefers

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