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Teenage sister complaining to me about dads new "girlfriend"

(11 Posts)
sophieeleanorxx Sun 30-Oct-16 11:32:31

Hi my half sister is 13 and she stays with my dad on the weekends. My dad sleeps with lots of different woman has always been a cheat and cheated on my mother and my sisters mum. He's been having a woman stay over every weekend and she leaves her thongs and bra hung up in the bathroom. It's making my sister feel awkward! She found a condom on the floor in my dads room. She went into my dads room at night and they were naked in bed together. I don't really talk to my dad as he's a dick. But any advice I can give my little sister? I feel bad for her x

PlugUgly Sun 30-Oct-16 11:35:15

How awful for her, is he the sort of person she could say anything to? Could her mum mention it?

sophieeleanorxx Sun 30-Oct-16 11:40:52

Not really he's the type of person to just make a joke about it if she did say anything and shrug it of. My dad has told her not to tell her mum anything so my sister hasn't. But if she tells her mum all hell will break loose. I don't want her thinking that it's normal behaviour because I've been listening to some of her conversations with her friends and there things i wouldn't expect to hear from a 13 year old. She also found photos and videos on my dads phone of him sending things to women and them sending things back. It makes my stomach turn!

PlugUgly Sun 30-Oct-16 12:14:42

Even if all hell does break loose, it is really important she speaks to her mum, at 13 she is a child and needs protecting, could you speak to your mum or her mum on her behalf?

FannyFifer Sun 30-Oct-16 12:17:59

She shouldn't be going in her dads bedroom or going through his phone really though.

rollonthesummer Sun 30-Oct-16 12:23:04

I would advise her to not go barging into their (or any other adult couple's) room at night if you know they sleep naked. Generally there's no need, but if she does need to-suggests she knocks first maybe?

I would also advise her to not go through her dad's phone. My young teens don't go thmrough mine.

Leaving underwear in the bathroom isn't a biggie either really. I might do that if they were drying. Is it the girlfriend's house?

WaxingNinja Sun 30-Oct-16 12:25:52

Whys a 13 year old going into her dads bedroom at night and going through his phone? Tell her to stop it.

AcrossthePond55 Sun 30-Oct-16 12:41:11

TBH, if most 13 year olds walked into a parent's bedroom at night they'd have a very good chance of seeing a parent naked in bed with someone (either a spouse or significant other). It's why we teach our children not to barge in. I agree with Fanny as far as not walking into her father's bedroom or going through his phone. Seems as if that would solve a lot of the problems. But he should not be asking a 13 year old to keep secrets from her mother.

He does have a right to have a girlfriend (even if he is or was a serial cheat), and if this woman is there every weekend it sounds as if they're in a relationship of some kind. It's not like he's parading a different woman through his bedroom every weekend. So I don't really see a problem with her being there, but they should exercise some discretion around your sister, of course. I don't see a big deal about bra and knickers in the bathroom, it's just underwear, but if it bothers your sister she should speak to her dad and if he shrugs it off, then she should speak to her mum.

Is this a change from the 'usual' routine of visits? Has your sister had her dad to herself until recently? Or do you think your sister has recently become more 'aware' of the sexual aspect of relationships and it's bothering her to think that her dad is 'doing that'?

sophieeleanorxx Sun 30-Oct-16 12:48:51

Hi she does knock before she enters but I guess it was just a surprise for her. Her mum and our dad have not long split up and her mums clothes are all still in the bedroom and all over the house. My sister finished school last week and went to my dads house and the woman answered the door when my dad wasn't in my sister didn't go in and said she will come back later when dads there. Maybe she has just became more sexually aware and is intrigued. But then it's my dads fault he confuses her flirts with a lot of woman and he hasn't even bothered to introduce her to my sister properly. So she's not really sure if it's a relationship or not as he has not long split up with her mum.

sophieeleanorxx Sun 30-Oct-16 12:52:51

I have told her tell her mum but I know she won't as she has promised dad hmm and dad is a controlling shite!

Allthebestnamesareused Wed 02-Nov-16 19:31:26

There is knocking and going straight in and then there is knocking and waiting!😂

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