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What to do? Suicide of a friend

(12 Posts)
Lifeisshort123 Fri 14-Oct-16 23:06:51

DD (14) had some awful news on Wednesday that her old bestfriend who she was close with all through primary school has committed suicide and is convinced that it's her fault as the last thing he said to her before he took his own life was "you didn't care and you could of stopped this". She unfortunately got in an argument with him a few months ago and they haven't spoken until he sent her that message late on Tuesday night. She feels awful as she told him she hated him and he called her names but she said things to him she is finding hard to let go of. She's taking this out really badly on the whole famliy and I don't know how I can help her?sad
I feel awful for her but I also am finding the endless arguments and screaming matches so tiring.
What should I do?!

FarelyKnuts Fri 14-Oct-16 23:08:05

Counselling?

Dreamfrog Sat 15-Oct-16 07:49:01

she needs counselling. She needs professional support to help her rationalise her feelings and help her get through this. Go via school and gp. Don't wait.

FuckyNell Sat 15-Oct-16 07:50:57

Yes yes professional ASAP.

Footle Sat 15-Oct-16 07:59:18

The friend was very ill when he told her his suicide was her fault. It absolutely was not.

Coconutty Sat 15-Oct-16 08:02:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frenchfancy Sat 15-Oct-16 09:08:19

Guilt is a normal reaction for her to have. That is a terrible burden to bear at her age. Do you know the family? Maybe understanding what else was going on and what help was given may help share the burden.

Bumbumtaloo Sat 15-Oct-16 09:25:14

Your poor DD.

My brother died many years ago when we both still in our teens, the night he died we had an awful (teenage) row, the last thing I ever said to him was 'why don't you drop dead'. I carried that with me for many many years, refused counselling - even when I was taken to sessions I point blank refused to talk about it. In my 20's I had a breakdown, I went to counselling and finally managed to talk about my guilt of that night. I'm now in my late 30s and on and off for most of my adult life at points attempting suicide. I know that it's not my fault he's dead but in my darkest hours it still haunts me.

At the moment your daughter is at the start of the grieving process. Counselling is a very good idea contact someone who deals with bereavement counselling such as cruse www.cruse.org.uk/

Bumbumtaloo Sat 15-Oct-16 09:27:10

*sorry that should read I have suffered depression

flowers for you and your daughter.

Sugarpiehoneyeye Sat 15-Oct-16 09:34:46

It must be very painful for you to watch her distress OP.
Unfortunately, the only way to help her, is to get her some professional care.💐💐💐

catch22squared Sat 15-Oct-16 11:04:28

You can call Winston's Wish. They have a helpline and you can talk to someone who is trained in talking to young people about suicide. I had to tell DS about suicide when he was six and answer all his questions. I found it overwhelming but they gave me the right words to use.

Your DD is older and can call them herself. Or maybe you could each call.

I hope she can find comfort and soon understand that this is not her fault.

Lifeisshort123 Sat 15-Oct-16 21:34:08

Thanks everyone x
Talking to her gp on Monday.

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