I have a DS17. He has always been quite a shy child and likes his own company. He has friends at school (boys school but mixed 6th form) but rarely meets up with them outside school. He's a bit of a loner. He does get involved with group activities such as DofE and enjoys camping out and that sort of thing so even though he is quite shy he doesnt hide away because of it. He gets on well with people and happily speaks with confidence but not necessarily about his inner feelings etc. So far so teenagery. He has never had a girlfriend (asked a girl on a sort of date and that was ages ago. No further dates) or a boyfriend. Not unusual I know and I have kept my nose out and not talked to him much about these things as he is quite private and I dont want to be a nosy mum.
Yesterday I was helping him to fill in his UCAS application (early app) and in the personal details we came up with a section on sexual orientation, a drop down menu including straight gay bi and a couple of others including 'prefer not to say'. The question took us both off guard a bit and he quickly said "I dont have one" and chose to leave the question. I said "You can always chose the 'prefer not to say' option" and he still decided to just leave the question.
As we were deep into the process of filling in the application and as I didnt feel prepared to question him right then so I left it and we carried on with the form.
Now I have a few questions and I am not sure whether I should have a chat with him. I'm not sure if he meant that he actually has no sexual orientation at all or whether he is unsure of it or whether, as a virgin, he understood the question to mean sexual activity rather than orientation.
Anyway, I am not sure if I should just butt out and mind my own business or if I should try and discuss this with him. I have always said to him that I am here for him and that he can tell me anything. I realise of course that the last thing a private teen wants to do is talk to him mum about sex but... I dunno. Is is possible to have no sexual orientation at 17? Another thing that I have noticed (warning TMI...) is that when I change his sheets there is no evidence of masturbation (compared to his 15yr old brother for example). Of course he may masturbate somewhere other than his bed. But I kind of wonder actually if he even does masturbate. Of course I would feel a bit odd asking him that. Generally he seems like a 'normal' teenager in the sense that he is happy sometimes and grumpy sometimes. We have a good relationship but I have never pried too much into personal things with him and wonder whether I should.
Sorry this is so rambling. Any advice?
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Teenagers
teens sexual orientation
6 replies
humblesims · 28/09/2016 08:22
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