Getting teenage son to pull his trousers up

[LindaDeb]

Hello there Mumsnetters,

I would appreciate some advice on convincing my son to pull his trousers up to a respectable level. I'm guessing you've seen these teenagers with their trousers down around their thighs, exposing, for whatever reason, their underwear for the world to see.
As annoying and personally offensive as it is, I'd never really tried to get my son to change this habit until a few months ago, when an air hostess asked him to pull his trousers up. I repeated the demand vociferously, but we both relented. Since then, his trousers have fallen even lower, almost to a point of ridicule (although the whole thing is ridiculous to me!), and I believe this to be a rebellion against our demands.

At this age, I see other young men of my son's age smartening up, as they enter the world of job interviews, finishing college and preparing for university and adult life. This saddens me that my son doesn't want to smarten up and would rather play the 'gangster'.
I have two key practical concerns with him wearing his trousers so low; being that when he sits down it's his underwear on the seat, which is terribly disgusting; and that when he walks tries to walk, he has to waddle with his legs far apart, that ridiculous 'penguin walk' that is all about the 'swag' according to them.

Wow, didn't expect to write an essay! But that's my position, and my reasons for wanting to secure a change of habit. Not about control or prudent parenting I don't think, just respect and avoiding offence and impracticality. AIBU??

[Tiggeryoubastard]

Tell him it's so 5 years ago and laugh at him.

[Penfold007]

It's too late, it's already his habit. There is going to be a whole generation of penguin walking men needing hip replacements thanks to this stupid 'fashion'

[bigTillyMint]

What Tiggery said - you just don't see boys with their trousers hanging down here any more.

[TheNaze73]

Ask him if it's still 2007

[GinIsIn]

Every time you are in a very public place, just give them a sharp tug down- I bet he'll start wearing them properly pretty quickly!

[BonBonCouture]

Show him this

[specialsubject]

Do they still do this?

Just address him as 'calvin' and take the piss relentlessly!

He sounds a bit of a sheep. Hopefully he will grow out of it.

[JennyOnAPlate]

Hide all his pants. Bet his trousers will be pulled up if he's forced to go commando!

[Tiggeryoubastard]

Or make a massive fuss of how well he's wiped it and what a clever boy he is. Loudly. Wherever you are.

[LindaDeb]

I too thought this style is pretty much dead, and hence my feelings about other teenage boys smartening up and going for a more preppy look. Why does my son have to be one of the laggers stuck in 2007!? Hardly a good classic style to retain. I think perhaps when he and some of his friends were younger, the 'cooler' older boys must have dressed like this and they copied them. Maybe goes some way in explaining why they are, as you point out, behind the times.

I must agree with Penfold in that it's a habit, but hopefully not irrevocable. I've observed it as more a habit than a style, especially as he wears his pyjamas in the same way (who's that trying to prove?!), and seems to think it's normal, as if wearing trousers on the hips or waist is abnormally high.

Haha, the last two suggestions may require a bit of a blocking of my filter, which I try to keep very restrained!

[Soubriquet]

You could do what I did to my ex boyfriend when he did it as a teen

Everytime you spot underwear, yank them up and claim you thought they were falling down. Bonus points if they cause a little bollock pain. They soon stop doing it

[LindaDeb]

You're right that he is really a sheep, but really he should find a new flock to emulate. When they're over at my place I always note how they look the same, with their trousers low, caps fitted on backwards, heads buried in their phones. Sometimes I can hardly tell which is mine!

Also I am trying to keep up with the messages so sorry if mine don't add up to the replies, still new at this.

[SixtiesChildOfWildBlueSkies]

Chanel his 'look'.

Buy some jeans bigger than you usually wear and style them his way when he's around, making sure you have some Bridget Jones bloomers (floral and ever so slightly faded) to put fully on display.

The effect is electric - more so if you do it when he has mates over.
Keep remarking how comfy they are, ask him and the mates their opinion whilst parading up and down in front of them.

He will freeze in horror

[GerdaLovesLili]

Idiot drug-dealing manchild downstairs still does this. All his mates have moved on sartorially so they look quite smart. They still deal drugs, but it's not them with their neat facial hair and smart suits that get stopped and searched... I thought it was supposed to suggest that their pockets were so full of guns/drugs/money that their their trousers were too heavy to stay up.

[ShowMeTheElf]

Replace all his pants with ones he doesn't want anyone else to see? Or write something across the back of all his current pairs 'Mummy loves me' or similar?

[LindaDeb]

I actually vividly pictured myself doing that, sixties child. Maybe I can brush off my acting from uni days and really strut my stuff. Sure to get their eyes off their phones for a few moments!

Gerda, that's awful, and I echo your frustrations that others have moved on but not ours. You would think your son, in his position, would catch on to the benefits of looking smart and getting away with it (not that I or you would encourage that outlook!). To my chagrin my son does use drugs but has never been involved in the dark world of dealing, I feel for you there.

[GerdaLovesLili]

Linda, fortunately he's not my child. But he is "Mrs Downstairs" Husband and the father to their 2 yo and HE STILL DOES IT!

I'm so glad we're moving away soon...

[LindaDeb]

Oh thank goodness!! Yes be good to get away from that loser (if I may say so!)

[ralice]

My OH used to do this until my Mum joked that it looked like he was wearing a sodden nappy!

[Barefootcontessa84]

Explain to him where the fashion came from in the first place - it orginates from prisons where men used to do wear their trousers low to indicate they were open to advances from other men...

[Rumtopf]

Ask him if he realises that originally he'd have been advertising his willingness for bumsex!

I agree, it looks terrible. My friend's son did it at her wedding with his suit trousers. He was about 15 at the time. I nipped out to the car, grabbed a spare belt of dh's out of his bag and then proceeded to dress him properly at the front of the church before his Mum got there, she'd have been mortified at him showing his bottom in church! He didn't dare disagree and gladly seems to have stopped since.

[LindaDeb]

Gosh, thank goodness you were there to save the day with a nifty belt! Whoever said carrying around a spare belt didn't have it's uses.
A mortifying event such as being belted up at the wedding would, one would expect, be impetus to change. But after the plane incident, with all the passengers gawking at my son, he just made sure to wear his trousers lower! The next step would see them belted around his knees, so goodness knows the risks.

Advice so far suggests a conversation about the origins of the habit/trend is in order. Hope my son's ready for it!

[Northernparent68]

I really disagree with suggestions that you shame or ridicule him, ignore it or tell him straight to pull them up

[Omgkitties]

Why did the air hostess ask him to pull his trousers up? 😂