DSD is 18 and for the last year has been saying she is 'trans'.
CAMHS have been no help - although she is on their caseload but 'held' until she has been to the gender clinic (current waiting times nearly two years). They have said this is not a mental health issue but a physical health issue. So no counselling, despite previous issues with anxiety/eating disorders/self-harm/possible ASD type behaviour. We have offered to pay for therapy and tried to persuade her to attend family therapy with us but she has completely refused and said there is nothing to talk about.
We have largely told DSD that we love her but we cannot take this seriously. She was always quite happy with typical girls' clothes/presentation and only ever mentioned gender issues after she joined a LGBT teen club (saying she was bisexual at the time).
Now she is saying she wants to come out to the whole family and wants top surgery/hormones and change her name.
This is destroying our relationship with her because it's ridiculous. She has two younger siblings (also girls) and they spend all their time doing 'girlie things' together (hairdressing, make up, singing) and DSD has never, ever, exhibited anything like 'boyish' behaviour - and she still doesn't.
I don't know how we deal with this without it destroying our relationship with her. Things are so tense at home now. DH is largely baffled and also really embarassed about it. We really don't want to 'tell the family' because she is and always has been very feminine that the narrative is just laughable.
We are veering between being cross and just burying our heads in the sand. We want it all to go away. How do we cope with this without completely losing her? Where do we even begin?
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DSD wanting to 'come out' as trans is destroying our relationship ...
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steppinstone · 20/09/2016 13:55
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