vaping, maybe weed, at 13

[arbu]

I've just found out my DS has tried vaping with his friends. Maybe weed as well. I knew this day would come eventually, but not so soon! I know I over-reacted but he lied about it. I'm a single parent, and without much support as we relocated to another country after the divorce. Both my DC have ADHD, DS more severely than DD. There is a strong family history of mental illness as well, mainly depression, and DD has epilepsy.

I'm very worried. After my initial reaction (cold fury), I started a chat with both of them. Obviously we've talked about drugs before, with both DC very adamant that they "would NEVER" try recreational drugs. Now DS clearly has (I don't believe it's just been vaping), and I don't know how to deal with it. I told him I'd love him no matter what, but that I can't and won't put up with him doing drugs.

Help, please!

[JustDanceAddict]

It's young. We've had experience of this in my family - not my DCs, but close enough. I would expressly say why you don't want DS dabbling, esp for the MH reasons, his developing brain, etc. (We also have MH issues here on both sides s). I would probably overact initially too, but then talk afterwards. Maybe he is being pressured into it, maybe he wants to look cool? I would look into reasons with him & try and persuade him not to (and also sanction him for doing so until he can earn your trust back). I dabbled too but not at 13 and I have told my kids I was 19 before I even had a spliff so they can't throw back at me 'well, you had it at 14' or whatever. My mum had no clue what I was doing, but I was an adult too so would've been hard for her to sanction. It will happen to my DC too I'm sure, but now they are not interested in it and are quite scared of being offered drugs.