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Advice - suitable punishments for 15 year old boy

(21 Posts)
HereIAm20 Sat 03-Sep-16 13:57:02

Any ideas anyone other than electronic confiscation and grounding?

Would welcome some fresh ideas to mix it up next time I need it and there will be a next time I'm sure!

duskonthelawn Sat 03-Sep-16 14:05:54

I would say it depends what they've done?

insancerre Sat 03-Sep-16 14:08:36

My DS is 27 and he says the only effective punishment I ever used on him was when I took away his games console controllers
I left him the console and the games
He just couldn't use them because I had the controllers

I came on this thinking it would be an easy answer, but thinking about it I can't actually think of any punishment punishments I've given the DC for a while. Probably some boring chore that I would have asked them to eventually do anyway? Housework you don't want to do but they can't cock up if it's done in a sulk (mainly washing related here, but emptying kitchen bins if they're smelly is great too - we've a second floor flat, taking out the rubbish is a trek)

I have to say on the whole I'm a 'lecture until they give in' type of person. My sister was impressed that I managed to make one of the DS cry following a quiet talk about how I wasn't angry, just sad and disappointed (not intentional - I'm not that horrible, honest) It's not quite as effective now they're teenagers, tbh I think they just give in and apologise to make me go away and stop talking at them.... wink

plimsolls Sat 03-Sep-16 14:21:23

I guess, depending on what happened, logical consequences would be best. So, most often- no "rescuing"....if they haven't tidied their room and given you their washing, you don't go in and find the clothes and do the laundry.

If their actions cost money (either by breaking something or wasting something) they have to pay for it somehow.

For some reason, I'm struggling to think of examples of bad behaviour to match consequences to.

Perhaps you could give us some examples of what you mean.

(Also, I tend to advocate ignoring some of the less bad behaviours if they're not too dangerous/destructive/impactful.... Makes your behaviour management more effective in the long run).

HereIAm20 Sat 03-Sep-16 14:21:55

Yes - I think I'll think up some chores to have in hand - he does the bins anyway. I did think of making him do some form of voluntary work but don't want that to be seen as a punishment. There is no specific thing at the moment but he has been caught roofrunning in the past. So issues with danger/trespass but there is only a finite time that grounding etc works for. So what grotty chores can people come up with?

TheSecondOfHerName Sat 03-Sep-16 14:23:23

It depends. What did he do? We try to go for natural consequences, although sometimes there isn't a direct consequence that will affect them in the short-term, so we have used fixed-term wi-fi curfew and an actual curfew for the 16 year old.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sat 03-Sep-16 14:24:58

What's roof running ?

I take away electronics ,take away bank card,ground etc

I can also do the ' I'm SO disappointed you chose to behave in this manner'

Works a treatwink

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Sat 03-Sep-16 14:26:25

Watch 1000 ways to die with him. Some gruesome stupid things people have done - it's not a spoof programme. Kids think they are invincible.

TheSecondOfHerName Sat 03-Sep-16 14:26:38

In an ideal world, it would be possible for him to volunteer at an orthopaedic rehab centre, to witness the consequences of high-impact injuries.

In real life, I would be looking to find out why he is attracted to high risk behaviour. Peer pressure? Boredom?

TheSecondOfHerName Sat 03-Sep-16 14:29:10

Or bribe him with a parkour course if he cooperates with your behavioural expectations. DS3 did a day with the London School of Parkour and loved it. They taught them how to land safely as well as some tricks. DS3 is only 12 though, a 15 year old might be less easily impressed.

TheSecondOfHerName Sat 03-Sep-16 14:30:23

Omgkitties Sat 03-Sep-16 20:35:20

Watch 1000 ways to die with him

Me and DP love that show.

Sadik Sat 03-Sep-16 21:29:57

Agree logical consequences are the way to go if you can (so short term grounding as you're already doing), and as others have said, maybe also trying to find a positive way to redirect him.

Beyond that, is he money oriented - would linking pocket money to acceptable behaviour work for him? (I like Charlie Taylor's Divas and Doorslammers, it's good on reward/behaviour schemas for teens as well as other things)

yeOldeTrout Sat 03-Sep-16 21:53:32

oh gosh, roofrunning!! Little feckwit...
He's lucky he didn't encounter vandal paint.
Washing windows or your car?
Has to be something linked to his freedom and time, doesn't it? Or money. Or Wifi.

HereIAm20 Sun 04-Sep-16 10:59:57

Thanks for all the other suggestions. I will try a mixture!

stonecircle Mon 05-Sep-16 01:02:46

Roof running?! I'd be confiscating his shoes!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 05-Sep-16 11:19:30

I've just googled roof running, I'd chop his bloody legs off!!shock

Seriously, I'd come down on him like a ton of bricks for this starting with no wi-fi/phoneand taking his shoes away.

I don't usually bring out the big guns but with this I would .

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 05-Sep-16 11:21:25

Yes, get him involved with something positive and safer like parkour, that gym linked above looks amazing.

notagiraffe Mon 05-Sep-16 21:08:33

If they've done something really bad, I get them to do a big, horrible tough job with me - like cleaning out the garage or loft. But we do it together and while they do it I try to stay in a good mood. That way, they end up talking to you and being proud of what they've achieved rather than just sulky and miserable. But it has to be something strenuous enough that they wouldn't want to do it again in a hurry.

And then get him to sign up for a parkour course.

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