So, daughter went on summer camp for a couple of weeks. Boys and girls in different huts. Adults make every effort to ensure boys and girls are never within each others personal space let alone go in each others dormitories or shower areas etc etc. DD then raised the issue that she thinks it is wrong that boys and girls are kept so separate but lesbians can share a room as can gay boys. She has - as do most teens - many gay friends and has never had an issue before but this year was the first year she raised the issue of showering and changing and sleeping arrangements. It's not something I'd ever thought about before. Why are boys and girls separated for showering and sleeping? Privacy, modesty, sexual reasons? If so, is she being unreasonable to feel uncomfortable to have to shower, change and sleep with lesbian girls who openly tell girls, gay or straight, they fancy them?
are you sure that she is feeling uncomfortable at that aspect of it?
It sounds more like she thinks it's unfair and old fashioned that everything is separated like that, and that she'd rather choose where she and friends would be sleeping. (I don't know whether I'd agree with her or not on that one, but it doesn't particularly sound like she's doing it out of unwillingness to be around lesbians - unless there's more to the conversation than that).
She's 15 and not a grown up 15. She has plenty of male and female friends but as yet, next to no interest in having a boyfriend but considers herself straight. She is quite self conscious. She'll giggle with other straight girls about which boys at school are 'fit' but wouldn't go anywhere with that. She knows boys do the same about girls. She'll talk to male friends about which girls they find 'fit' etc. She would hate to have to share sleeping or bathing facilities with boys but she does think the "you'll be sent home if you're caught hugging a boy even platonically" rules are OTT when girls can hug their female friends. The issue came up because a lesbian friend told her she "had a nice arse". It made her uncomfortable to then have to shower with her with ill-fitting shower curtains. She isn't homophobic I don't think - she feels just as uncomfortable and self conscious if a boy makes a similar comment.