Need some advice

(17 Posts)
Dad2six Mon 22-Aug-16 18:54:53

I have some problems in my family home which i am very concerned about & don't no what to do i have 6 children aged 8 to 17 all to my wife of 13 years & partner of 19 years 4 boys & 2 girls the behaviour in & out of the home is very bad to the point that I feel defeated my children all swear & hit me call me some disgusting things they hear from there mother towards me as she drinks every night & is very aggressive towards us all now my children are all doing the same as there mum to me & I have no control I can't leave as I have concerns of their safety i have ended our relationship but remain in the homesad

OP’s posts: |
WhatTheActualFugg Mon 22-Aug-16 18:56:51

I think you need to call SS OP. Tell them your concerns and ask them for their help and advice.

WhatTheActualFugg Mon 22-Aug-16 18:57:26

Social Services that is.

anorakgirl Mon 22-Aug-16 19:01:57

It sounds like your wife is abusive to you too and I think you need some professional help to address this. It's not right that you feel like this and you certainly shouldn't put up with it. Sounds like social services would be a start. Also contact a domestic violence support for yourself

WhatTheActualFugg Mon 22-Aug-16 19:05:42

Start writing a diary/list of all the aggressive behaviour she displays towards you and your DC.

Note down every little thing. Swearing, yelling, physical violence, threats of physical violence.

You can't continue to take this, and you're obviously a big enough man to not leave your children with her.

So either you need to try and get her some help to change or you need to get yourself and your DCs away from her.

Dad2six Mon 22-Aug-16 19:07:59

I already have SS as my wife self harms severely when drunk I have MST camhs nothing as work I feel like walking cos when she drinks she tells the children I'm a rapist & a peadophile a murder a smack ed etc I don't drink or use drugs but now my children all day these things to me in public

OP’s posts: |
Dad2six Mon 22-Aug-16 19:08:45

She's on medication for depression it's working but the drinks bad

OP’s posts: |


Dad2six Mon 22-Aug-16 19:19:15

Also this yr alone the police have been called over 50 times my 13 yr old son has been arrested for criminal damage & assault in the home my wife phones the police to have me removed as she feels I shouldn't be there as we are no longer in a relationship

OP’s posts: |
Dad2six Mon 22-Aug-16 19:20:42

She typically drinks 5pm onwards around 6-10 cans a night

OP’s posts: |
User545454 Mon 22-Aug-16 20:49:27

What do SS say/do? Do they know the full extent?

Dad2six Mon 22-Aug-16 21:06:34

They no she drinks & self harms but they don't no about the abusie side I'm not sure of the steps they wud take

OP’s posts: |
Dad2six Mon 22-Aug-16 21:06:52


OP’s posts: |
WhatTheActualFugg Mon 22-Aug-16 21:10:09

I don't know much anything about SS but I would hope they would remove her from the children.

I think you need to call your SW tomorrow and just be up front. Tell them everything that's going on, tell them you don't think it's safe for your children to be around their mother and that the only reason you're still there is because you're scared to leave them with her.

It doesn't sound like it could get much worse.

Dad2six Mon 22-Aug-16 21:14:15

I have a core group meeting coming up she doesn't attend so I think that maybe my chance but I can't cope on my own with them the attitude & aggression is way to much

OP’s posts: |
WhatTheActualFugg Mon 22-Aug-16 21:24:39

I don't know what to say OP. You're just going to have to tell them and ask for support and help and advice.

Do you have any negative history yourself?

Do you think you could apply for sole custody and win?

Dad2six Mon 22-Aug-16 21:45:23

No negative history whatsoever I don't want to take them as in the day she is fine is T time onwards it's been like this for 10 yrs & now the hole house is just disfunctional

OP’s posts: |
Dad2six Mon 22-Aug-16 21:45:46


OP’s posts: |

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in