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Am I just feeling rejected or jealous?

(8 Posts)
Sandib1 Thu 04-Aug-16 23:40:13

I am a single mum of a very soon to be 16 year old lad. We have always been close (prior to the teen years although we still have our moments. My son has been waiting to hear if his gf is coming over for his bd so I haven made major plans as it just appears he wants to spend as little time with me as possible anyway. His dad, whom is quite against me anyway and has, without my agreement booked to take him away Christmas, has just said 'if you're not doing anything for your bd then do you want to come over to my sisters? He has s huge family and it is just me. It just hurts that my son now appears to have no respect for me or any kind thoughts for me. I don't know what to do as obviously I would love to spend the day with him but can't/won't compete with his dad's family. Please can anyone offer advice?

ChanelNo314 Thu 04-Aug-16 23:44:19

I would go away for christmas. :-/
It might make your son miss you over christmas and make more effort to divide his time more considerately in future.

36mum Thu 04-Aug-16 23:48:34

It's hard for a boy even of that age to know what the right thing to do is. It's right that you feel he should be more loyal to you but the male species are selfish buggers. Try not to take any of it personally because I can guarantee they haven't thought about it that much. Make the best out of the situation, don't miss out you can't get it back X

BackforGood Thu 04-Aug-16 23:49:57

eh?? How does him wanting to spend time with his Dad, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, grandparents etc translate into him "having no respect for you" ?? hmm

My advice is for you to understand he is a young man who has 2 parents, a girlfriend, and a life, and who hasn't sussed how to be in 3 places at once. Stop trying to make him feel bad for being a normal teen.

Sandib1 Thu 04-Aug-16 23:50:21

Thank you for replying. I decided that I'm going away as I can't bare the thought of being here on my own. Birthdays were always special in my family but he seems to disregard them, ie even my 50th I didn't even get a phone call. But hey, he's a teen so I try not to expect much. I feel his dad should be showing some consideration but he doesn't either. I am torn between making s big effort before he goes to his dad's now, insisting we go out for the day or just ignoring it as 'it's only another day mum!confused

Sandib1 Thu 04-Aug-16 23:53:28

Thanks BackforGood. I don't want to make him feel bad at all which is why I'm on here seeking advice on how to move on with this.

Sandib1 Thu 04-Aug-16 23:55:52

Ps when I say no respect for me I am referring to daily routines that happen in a teen household, not this scenario.

Trifle66 Sat 06-Aug-16 10:25:09

I'm a single with an 18 DD. I think he just feels more comfortable with you and so takes you for granted. My DD feels guilty saying no to things her Dad suggest (she usually doesn't actually want to hang out with his family) because she doesn't live with him so will say yes out of politeness.
Take it as a back handed compliment and keep yourself busy. I understand l, that because it's just the two of you, there is a tendency to look to your teen for the emotional support you'd expect from a partner ( ie remembering birthdays etc) I have to keep reminding myself that DD is my daughter! And not responsible for my happiness!
It's developmental that he should pull away from you so he can grow up. Apparently they come back eventually.

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