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Very angry DD 15 normal or something to be concerned about

(5 Posts)
MillieDalt Thu 04-Aug-16 19:47:14

My eldest DD is extremely angry and this is mostly aimed at me. When she is angry, her hatred feels very real and is obviously upsetting me. I am not naive and acknowledge that teenagers get angry and often distance themselves from their parents. But it's just that it's only aimed at me. She is never angry with my parents, my husband (her stepdad and only dad of 14 years) and she gets frustrated by her sister but not like she is with me. She also never displays this behaviour in front of anyone else. So much so that family members didn't believe me until recently. Normally she is extremely mature, sensitive kind and quiet girl.

Today she got angry with me as I asked her not to use nail varnish on her carpet as its brand new. She completely flipped out and was really horrible. I was an angry teen and no one talked to me about my behaviour. So I am telling her that it's ok to be angry but you shouldn't hurt others, herself or damage property (she regularly does this) and that instead she should talk about what she is cross about. It normally takes at least a day for her to be normal with me again and then she won't ever talk about it again or apologise for upsetting me. My DH feels that we should just let it go, but I don't feel that is teaching her to be an young adult who is able to deal with difficult situations. At the moment situations such as this are happening more than once a week, so I feel like she is constantly angry with me. Today she said she is always angry with me, but that she just hides it better some days than others.

I want to repair our relationship but I can't Idaho won't talk to me. Any advice?

MillieDalt Thu 04-Aug-16 21:29:59

Bumping - please tell me I'm not alone! confused

Whenwillthisphaseend Thu 04-Aug-16 22:12:22

My DD was very much like this but has improved in recent weeks. It turns out things were going on for her that she didn't want to discuss -issues with some girls at school and a boyfriend who was being emotionally abusive. These factors have gone thank goodness and lovely DD has resurfaced, are you sure something isn't going on for her friendship wise/relationship wise? DD hid it well but hated me for a full year, I was walking on eggshells constantly and she used to say/do the most vile things including emotional blackmail, damage to property, threats to herself and me and was just generally angry the whole time.

putthesneckon Thu 04-Aug-16 22:19:14

if she won't talk to you you could try texting her. Tell her you love her and want to help her, might be worth a try

augustusglupe Thu 04-Aug-16 22:27:40

Yes, me too. My DD is late twenties now, she went through quite a few years of this, between about 14 and 19. The anger was pretty much always aimed at me and even now, although we're close and she's done well in life, I can guarantee if I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and she's ready to explode, they'll be something else bothering her totally unrelated to me.
All I can say OP is that at 15 I think it's pretty much par for the course, especially with girls.
Obviously check she's ok, no bullying going on at school etc, that's all you can do flowers

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