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Sad teen dd

(4 Posts)
ginorwine Thu 04-Aug-16 08:43:29

Dd aged 17 had a boyfriend for 6 months and really fell for him
He is going away for a gap year then uni and she last year sixth form
He is very career focused
I noticed that she was v supportive about his choices but said that when she talked about her fears of missing him he reacted by saying that that discussion made him feel like a bad boyfriend
He made it clear that he wanted his freedom for eg went to festival didn't invite her she tried to work around his need s she says
He said he loved her but a week later finished with her saying he didn't want to be in a relationship but that he still cared about her and Wd take her places after he passed his test . No contact since .
I'm worried about dd .
Seems to have lost all confidence .
Hates her hair and body .
She tries to keep busy - has summer job and a pony loan which I worked like hell to get for her
I take her out shopping
For meals
Her brother is lovely to her
She says when she stops doing she feels sad
She looks flat
I've told her that this is like a grief a loss and acknowledge her pain
I'm struggling to see her so sad and am worried that it wil get worse and I don't know at what point I should ask for any other support ?? I want to avoid her getting any worse if I can but I'm not sure what I cd do or when
She has been asked out by other boys in the two months since the split and she says she doesn't trust anyone now 😔

Beezles Thu 04-Aug-16 09:04:57

Hi ginorwine...I'm here on another thread about DD here at the moment, but just wanted to chip in here. I've been through this with my DD (18). She sounds like two things are happening. You are finding it difficult to watch your daughter being unhappy and you are concerned for her. For the first, yes, it is hard to watch them being unhappy. But getting through the disappointments and surviving them is what makes us humans and is the process of growing and learning. It sounds like you are doing brilliantly at supporting her whilst not stepping in to rescue her. As for the second, your concern for her wellbeing, it might be time to suggest some counselling to help her process what has happened to her. Would she be open to that? Maybe just suggest a few sessions - keep it light yet acknowledge she seems to be struggling? Good luck x

cdtaylornats Thu 04-Aug-16 10:47:06

People get to be sad, it's not depression or anything to worry about. It is natural, it would be exhausting to be happy all of the time.

ginorwine Thu 04-Aug-16 11:51:57

Thanks for replies
Whilst I accept her sadness I want to support her thro it and get additional support if it becomes appropriate
No I don't expect folk to be happy all the time but I want to be supportive to her .

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