Trust issues

[MammouthTask]

dc1 is 13yo. For a while now, he has repeatedily abused our trust. Some small things, some bigger things. None completely serious/frightening (yet?).

I do have a major issue with the lying and the concealing. Mainly because he is arriving at a time in his life where he will take more and more indeopendance and I was to be sure he is safe (and that means for eg knowing where he is or that he is where he said he will be). He knows that, agrees to it and ... still carries on.

What do you do when your teenager breech your trust? And what do you expect them to do to prove they can be trusted again?

[t875]

I would sit them down and remind them of the rules on the situation. And say if they do it again then they won't be able to go or do what ever it is for a few weeks and see then if they can stick to your rules.
Let them know your reasons though
Good luck x

[MammouthTask]

I've done that though. Pointing out the breech of trust (not always acknowldeged either. dc1 has been known to swear he did xx when I am absolutely 100% sure he didn't), explaining the reasons, asking him what would it easier for him and dc1 proposing another way to do things etc

And we are still in the same place.

I hate that when he says something now, my first reaction is 'Is that really the truth?' and to want to check first :(:(

[t875]

It is hard been there ourselves.
I'm sure the phase will pass. I do think you will have to possibly say if you swear again then I will ( what ever he enjoys) for a day poss two. This is what we do. My dd 15 swore and we said what would happen. She swore again so we confiscated her phone and we have seen a big difference. The odd word here and there she will get warned first and that generally won't happen again for a while x