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Sister getting bullied online (long and names changed)

(6 Posts)
Jimjam1990 Fri 29-Jul-16 10:22:32

Hi I'm new to this so please bare with me! smile.

I'm 26 years old and a guy, I'm raising my two younger brothers and my little sister. My parents unfortunately died when I was 22 - I've been looking after them since then.

My brothers Alex who is 21 and Luke who's 19 came to me a couple of weeks ago and said they'd noticed changes in her behaviour. My sister Aimee is 13 so going through the teenage hormonal stage - I thought that was the problem.

I've had to work a lot more recently so Al and Luke have been watching her whenever I've had to do night shifts. Things seemed to get better after a little bit but yesterday things fell apart.

I came home at about 2:00 in the morning and could hear muffled crying coming from my sister's room. I went in, sat with her and gave her a hug whilst asking her to tell me what was wrong. It took me almost an hour to coax it out of her. It seems that a few girls in her class who she thought were her friends are being really bitchy and spiteful to her online. They are calling her fat, ugly, a slag etc. I was beyond furious; I know the damage that words can do especially to vulnerable teenage girls. I tried to comfort her, told her to block them from her social media.

The other thing which I am annoyed at is that they are making fun of her because she doesn't have a mum or dad and they said, "I'm surprised your brother has lasted this long. You're a burden on him." So now she thinks she's a burden... Which I have told her is not true. She isn't, she's the easiest person to look after.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't been able to live a normal life, but I would never hold it against her or my younger brothers. I have an older brother who's 30 and lives in Ireland (we live in Essex) so he can't just help and come over. I also have a sister who's 23 but is at university and can't really help me.

I need help to try and boost up her self esteem, she's missing our parents and for the first time I don't know what to do.

JustDanceAddict Fri 29-Jul-16 12:13:28

Sounds like you're doing an amazing job! You did well to get the problem out of her, and blocking on SM is a good solution. Has she got friends out of school she can see instead in the hols to boost her a bit? Just be there for her and keep bugging her up yourself. Good luck.

JustDanceAddict Fri 29-Jul-16 12:13:47

*bigging, not bugging.

SmallBee Fri 29-Jul-16 12:20:04

Sounds like you are doing an amazing job.

I would be tempted to get screen shots of the bullying and try and either involve school, bullies parents or police depending on the content and school policies. These girls shouldn't be allowed to think their behaviour is acceptable.

The school might also be able to give advice on how to safeguard and protect your sister online so she can have an enjoyable Internet experience without worrying.

You and your brothers are doing brilliantly looking after her. If you can spend time together as a family at and outdoor activity or a meal out every now and then it might cheer her up a bit?

Jimjam1990 Fri 29-Jul-16 17:38:30

Small Bee Yes I've taken screenshots and will bring them into school when she starts back. If I take them to bullies parents house then I'll probably lose my cool haha.

Thank you, I try my best to look after her. We definitely will be doing regular things with her smile

FernieB Fri 29-Jul-16 18:00:50

Definitely take screenshots and take them into school. I had this with my teen DDs and the school did take action (one of the girls has been expelled) although their main advice was to take the screenshots straight to the police (we had death threats). Log everything, even if its verbal face to face bullying as its all evidence.

You sound like you're doing a great job (and your brothers too). Being a teen girl is difficult at the best of times and you've all been through a lot. Does she have other friends that she can hang out with? That will help a lot, especially if they are prepared to support her about this.

I know she's only 13 but if she's able to get a small part time job, that will help to boost her confidence which is a great help in coping with bullying.

Good luck.

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