I'm sure this isn't a new issue and has been much discussed but I could really do with a gentle bit of guidance here. By way of background I have 2 teenage DCs and 1x 20 yr old (uni, but back home at the mo). There's another 2 DC but don't have an issue with them and don't want to give away too much identifying info etc. I also have MS and whilst I'm active and able I do struggle with fatigue and some mild mobility problems.
The issue with the teens and 20 yr old is that I've probably been too friendly with them. I ask them to do things, they don't get done, I've asked nicely, still not done. I'll ask again framed as a reminder that thing still needs doing, still not done. I then either lose it and do it myself (makes me stressed and more tired so MS worse) or I'll keep quiet which inevitably turns into a sulk and kids equally sulk in bedrooms and hide. Therefore nothing ever gets done.
I have tried sitting down and talking rationally about the help I need. I've done rotas (created more bickering). We have a cleaner which is a help in general hoovering etc but I just need to suss out how to get DCs to listen to me. I hate conflict but I am not afraid to speak up. I can't find the middle ground between asking nicely (again and again) and losing my rag. DH hides from the problem although I have asked many times for back up on this.
Is this just the way it is? I will appreciate any support, please be gentle with me. Feeling awful as currently we are all in a sulking phase and I don't feel physically well.... Thanks!!!
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Communication and behaviour. Getting the right balance?
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seaviewplease · 22/07/2016 08:24
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