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Panicking after man at bus stop approached my daughter

(39 Posts)
Fragglewump Thu 23-Jun-16 19:27:49

Please offer any advice as just having a panic. My daughter (15) just told me that a man was waiting in his car at her school bus stop this morning. She is the only one who gets the bus from that stop. Apparently an 'old man' was watching her walk up the road and cross the road and as she passed he wound down his window and started to question her. Do you live around here? I thought so I've seen you walking around here a few times? How long have you lived here? Do you go to 'X' school? Etc she said she felt weird and said 'I've got to go now' then he drove off. I'm not sure what to do because we have only recently moved here so don't have any local friends who can help out and I need to be in hospital tomorrow morning before she leaves the house and gets the bus. Do you think she is being stalked/watched? Is she at risk? What should I do? Please talk me down.

Madratlady Thu 23-Jun-16 19:31:52

Call 101 and report, that is concerning behaviour.

Letmehaveausername Thu 23-Jun-16 19:32:44

Inform the police, and the school. They can possibly have someone do a drive by check of the road by the bus stop before schools get out if they have the resources.

Try not to panic too much though, it could possibly just be a lonely old man trying to be nice. You can also buy "rape" alarms (just a small alarm that makes an extremely loud high noise) which normally scare off anyone trying to attempt something dodgy (but only used if he tries to approach her/get her to get in car etc).

Or is it possible for her to have someone at the bus stop with her? A school friend after school or you walk with her before school etc?

Letmehaveausername Thu 23-Jun-16 19:33:39

Also if you report there's the possibility that there may have been previous reports about the man/car and the police will be able to inform you on safety precautions to take etc

Fragglewump Thu 23-Jun-16 19:33:54

Oh god I feel really sick now.

Homemama Thu 23-Jun-16 19:35:58

You must report this. Why would you not?

Letmehaveausername Thu 23-Jun-16 19:36:12

Please don't worry, there's a high chance that it was harmless. We're just talking worst case here.

Honestly it'll be fine, tell her to take down the registration if she sees the car again too, only if it is safe for her to do so though.

PointlessUsername Thu 23-Jun-16 19:38:05

Are there any friends she can go a different way home with?

YouAreMyRain Thu 23-Jun-16 19:39:12

Can you drop her at a friends house on your way to the hospital? Rearrange your appointment?

Fragglewump Thu 23-Jun-16 19:39:21

I'm on hold to the police now. Panicking about tomorrow - no one around to make sure she gets to the bus/school safely

YouAreMyRain Thu 23-Jun-16 19:39:51

Could you pay for a taxi for her?

Fragglewump Thu 23-Jun-16 19:39:54

Sorry it was this morning on the way to school

Fragglewump Thu 23-Jun-16 19:42:24

Been on hold for 8 minutes to 101!

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow Thu 23-Jun-16 19:42:25

I don't know that it sounds harmless. At the very least it is unnerving for your DD. And really a grown man who is purely making chat should know not to approach young girls whilst in the car!

Can you advise her to leave for a later bus (if he's waiting for her) and let the school know she'll be late and why?

Letmehaveausername Thu 23-Jun-16 19:42:41

You could phone the school and ask them to make sure she arrives there safely, and if she doesn't to contact you asap? Explain to them what you've said here too, schools normally distribute the news to other parents if there's a concern involving child safety

EttaJ Thu 23-Jun-16 19:46:00

Amazed that people think it's harmless or no big deal. It is. Report him.

BrieAndChilli Thu 23-Jun-16 19:47:12

Could you be on he phone to her while she's waiting for the bus? If not is there someone else who could call her?? (Assuming she has a mobile)

BlackSwan Thu 23-Jun-16 19:47:56

Does she have a mobile phone in case she sees him again?

Madbengalmum Thu 23-Jun-16 19:49:59

Can anyone accompany her tomorrow? Or at least keep an eye out?

oldlaundbooth Thu 23-Jun-16 19:51:39

'Try not to panic too much though, it could possibly just be a lonely old man trying to be nice.'

Strange how he's not being nice to some 50 year old bloke crossing the street instead hmm

Instead he's waiting at a bus stop for a teenage girl!

Batteriesallgone Thu 23-Jun-16 19:52:20

Definitely tell her to take his registration next time. No eye contact, no awkward smiling, no answering questions, just repeating something robotically, maybe 'I don't want to talk'. Head up, confident.

Tell her not to put ear plugs in / music on, it's tempting to drown him out but she needs to be aware of movement around her.

I've been stalked / hassled walking home from work before, it was horrendous, but he just got a kick out of being creepy I think and nothing happened. Kind of like a flasher getting off on being inappropriate I guess.

Letmehaveausername Thu 23-Jun-16 19:53:19

Eta absolutely no one has said it's harmless...

Letmehaveausername Thu 23-Jun-16 19:55:34

old I was the first person to tell OP to phone the police so don't go trying to twist what I've said. The OP said that she feels sick with it, I was simply trying to calm her down and help her not get overly anxious so that she can deal with phoning the police and concentrate on hospital tomorrow.

I have also suggested a few ways the OP could take action to ensure that her daughter is safe.

Fragglewump Thu 23-Jun-16 20:01:40

Thanks for the help. The police have classed it as high priority and are sending a unit out as soon as one is available.

Letmehaveausername Thu 23-Jun-16 20:03:36

Glad to hear it Fraggle hopefully it'll be dealt with fully tonight. In the mean time just try to relax and make sure you and dd don't get too stressed out flowers

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