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what is reasonable to expect of 15/16 year olds in being able to get themselves home in the evening?

(31 Posts)
RubySparks Sat 11-Jun-16 23:42:19

We live in rural location but within bus distance of large town/small city. Is it OK for 15/16 year olds to get bus home and be picked up from bus stop in car? This would be 10-11pm in the evening. If it is not OK what age is OK? How do they start to gain independence?

ApocalypseSlough Sat 11-Jun-16 23:44:57

On their own? I collect from where they're with friends at that age.

Haggisfish Sat 11-Jun-16 23:47:24

Depends on journey to bus stop to get on bus? I used to get that time of night bus home but wasn't a dodgy journey to get to bus stop.

ExitPursuedByBear Sat 11-Jun-16 23:48:22

Of course they could get a bus.

<stares hard at DD>

disappoint15 Sat 11-Jun-16 23:50:40

It sound ok to me but I suppose it depends where the 'rural' bus stop is. We live in a big city and my 14 year old comes home on the train or bus as late as 10.30 (though so far still usually by 9.30/10) and walks home from the stop, but urban and well lit area. My 17 year old has no curfew any more and comes home usually by about 2.

MrsJayy Sat 11-Jun-16 23:53:11

Pick them up from the bus stop fgs get them to text you when they on their way if they are with friends then its perfectly safe for 16 year olds to get on a blooming bus

timelytess Sat 11-Jun-16 23:53:36

Collect. There is never a good time to be out alone at night.
I recall my uncle requiring his dd to phone him to be brought home from nights out so that she wouldn't even need to take a taxi. She was 27. Caution must run in our family. Collect.

Blu Sat 11-Jun-16 23:53:41

I would be happy for a 10pm bus from town and then a bus stop pick up, yes.

We are in London: DS comes home from the South Bank on the bus at 10.30. From parties I tend to collect him, depending on where he is, the walk home etc.

MrsJayy Sat 11-Jun-16 23:56:53

27 shock of course i wouldnt want my children unsafe and if they need picked up late then dh will pick dd2 up but when do you stop lifting and laying them 27 obviously in the timely family grin

RubySparks Sat 11-Jun-16 23:57:50

Pick is from smaller town 10 mins away in car. Would be group of teens not on their own. Just wondering if I got this wrong!

MrsJayy Sun 12-Jun-16 00:02:09

There honestly no right or wrong you do what you think is best but a letting a bunch of teenagers get themselves part of the way home is a good thing imo

Floggingmolly Sun 12-Jun-16 00:06:18

In a group they're perfectly fine on the bus. Alone; I'd collect.

RubySparks Sun 12-Jun-16 00:07:27

Though I should say not all getting off at the same stop. Do you then feel responsible for getting other people's teens home safely?

ASISAYNOTASIDO Sun 12-Jun-16 00:28:50

Are they in your house? If they are I would not rest easy until I was sure all home safe - so it'd be quicker to just drive them all. Nervous ninny here but then oldest DS14 is a little bit behind on most things as he has DCD/ sensory processing disorder so likely to go in completely wrong direction!!

RubySparks Sun 12-Jun-16 00:31:05

No not in my house, just should I worry about other teens if they get off at different bus stop? Or reasonable that their parents would make sure they were OK to get from bus stop to home.

MajesticWhine Sun 12-Jun-16 00:40:06

For me it would depend on the child. If DD was happy with the arrangements and she was not travelling alone it seems fine to me. You shouldn't have to worry about other people's teens. Although if I knew them and it wasn't far I would offer a lift.

RubySparks Sun 12-Jun-16 00:44:33

I felt a bit stuck as it was a biggish group, maybe eight of them so I couldn't offer to collect from city as they wouldn't fit in car so I thought a compromise would be getting bus to smaller town (30/40 mins) then collect, did offer lift home to one of them.

It it ended up that some were being collected and four would have come back on bus but one parent thought this wasn't good enough and went to collect them! Then ranted at me for my lack of organisation! My responsibility apparently as evening out was for my teen.

OnGoldenPond Sun 12-Jun-16 01:44:09

I'm just shock at all this ferrying about of 15/16 year olds! It is perfectly safe for a group to travel home on the bus at this time. Especially as being picked up from bus stop. The mum who gave you a hard time was just nuts, OP.

FGS, in two years most of them will be living alone when starting uni, they will be travelling everywhere without mummy at all hours. If you don't start letting them learn how to travel alone safely at 16 you would be seriously putting them at risk if they are thrown in at the deep end at uni without developing the skills to keep themselves safe.

RubySparks Sun 12-Jun-16 03:17:05

That was kind of my thinking...

ApostrophesMatter Sun 12-Jun-16 06:11:18

We live rurally and no late buses, so no choice other than to pick up until they learned to drive.

AngieBolen Sun 12-Jun-16 06:42:09

I'm a collector, particularly of other peoples DC. In the summer I'm happy to let DS travel in the evening, but worry more in the winter.
I wouldn't rant at you though, because most other parents aren't collectors, and their DC either don't go out or end up doing long journeys in the cold and dark just because their parents can't be bothered to collect them.
There is a BIG difference between a 15yo and an 18yo at uni. And personally I would like a lift home in the evening...,

RubySparks Sun 12-Jun-16 06:46:06

I kind of think the rant was because the parent didn't want their Saturday evening interrupted by picking up their own childI have done a lot of collecting in the past and bus journey has been done several times before but normally at 8/9. At the moment here it isn't dark at 10 but would be by 11.

MrsJayy Sun 12-Jun-16 08:23:23

Some parented ranted at you really ? there is always going to be parents who do it differently i suppose but ranting at you is ott there is also going to be the friends who are lifted and laid but you are only responsible for your own child independence not everybody elses child

RubySparks Sun 12-Jun-16 08:29:25

Thank MrsJayy, it has actually really upset me. I think other parent may have been drinking and therefore what was said was unfiltered (their partner did pick up).

MrsJayy Sun 12-Jun-16 08:47:28

Dont let it bother you they are mid teens and they are going to be out a bit later makes sense they get their own way home the parent probably expected you do to the running about thats their problem not yours

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