My son is lovely - kind and caring, but he can't seem to cope with anything in the real world. He's always been a bit 'quirky'. He had a few friends through primary school, but more due to my friendship group with other playground Mums and organising play dates for him.
At secondary school he hung out with a small group whom his tutor called 'The Randoms' - you know, those kids who nobody else really wants to hang around with :((( We switched his school for sixth form at his request and he found solace in the army type activities, made a few friends and spent a lot of time involved with the combined cadet force. He talked of joining the army but we have persuaded him to try Uni first. The problem is he can't do anything for himself - he just avoids dealing with anything at all that isn't his hobby (martial arts). He nearly failed his GCSEs as he didn't complete any course work until it was too late (we saved him by practically writing it all for him at the eleventh hour).
It was the same with his A levels which he got low passes in and now he's on a gap year and has managed to get the sack from 3 really casual jobs due to taking time off and not organising it with the bosses. He can't hold a conversation - never listens, never follows a conversation, just responds with (unrelated) random facts about whatever he's googling on the internet at the time. He sits on his x-box pretty much all the time he's home, switched off and absorbed in fantasy shooting worlds. He never sits with us as a family in the evenings. I think he might be on the spectrum.
Despite endless chasing (in a gentle way) he's failed all year to get organised with his deferred Uni place and is not sorting anything out himself like accommodation or a student loan to get organised to go in September.
I feel like I've failed him. He's reached adulthood and cannot cope with anything in life. He's the eldest of three and the younger two are absolutely fine - independent, sociable, manage their school work & activities & busy social lives pretty independently and seem 'normal'.
Am genuinely worried and don't know how to support him. I've thought about trying to find him a mentor or counselling as his self esteem seems very low but don't know how to go about talking to him about it. Does anyone have any experience that might help point me in the right direction with either how to help him or what to do for the best?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.
Teenagers
What can I do to help my 18 year old son?
10 replies
Allottwant · 02/06/2016 22:17
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.