TV smashed by 13 year old throwing remote at it for second time

[jennyt19]

Hi All

Just looking for advice. Having a major argument with my DH. My 13 year old son for the second time smashed the TV by throwing his remote at the TV. We've only had this TV for a matter of weeks. Our previous TV my husband replaced the day after my DS smashed it which I think is totally the wrong thing to do and he wants to do the same this time. My DH has said why should we pay the price; however, I feel that my DS should really be made to feel the consequences of his action. If all we do is confiscate his xBox or iPad for a month and immediately replace the TV he learns nothing.

My DS was really upset when he did it. He thought my DH would throw him out!!

The problem is we've had a number of issues with my DS behaviour both in school and at home. As you can see he has a temper but he has a big attitude problem as well. He's a bright kid who achieves great things when he puts his mind to it but it is getting him to focus that is a real problem. He lives for his xBox games but it is these games that causes most of his temper issues.

I'd be interested to hear what others think.

Thank you for reading my post.

Jenny

[Brainnotbrawn]

I would sell the Xbox and buy a new TV. If it is having such a negative impact on him I would not keep it. Sorry I am probably no help here.

[titchy]

Simple - sell the Xbox and all the games to pay for the tv.

[AnyFucker]

the XBox has to go

it's not oxygen, or water, or food

he is obviously too immature to deal with the heightened emotions triggered by certain ames...what does he play a lof ? Shoot 'em up, steal the car, rape the woman types of ames by any chance ?

[AnyFucker]

*games

sorry, some of my keys are sticking on the laptop

[Lucked]

I agree Xbox goes for good. I think a few weeks without a TV is doable and we watch a quite a bit of it.

[Wolfiefan]

How much time does he spend on the Xbox? He needs to find ways of relieving tension. Exercise?

[ApocalypseSlough]

So did he throw it in frustration when playing x box?

[paxillin]

Selling x box and iPad should raise enough to cover the cost of both broken tvs. Get him a simple laptop or desktop computer for homework etc.

[Costacoffeeplease]

Then the x box and games need to go if they cause the anger issues

[HoppingForward]

Yes to selling his things to replace things he broke.

Big hugs to you though. I have a difficult 12 year old, she makes daily life very hard, I feel your pain

[TondelayaDellaVentamiglia]

what were the consequences last time,? cos i'd hazard a guess they were not strict enough.

definitely get rid of the gaming console to fund the tv and find him a few alternative activities to focus his mind on a tech free few months weeks. Nice bit of digging or lawn mowing should keep his energy in check.

[RomComPhooey]

Yes to selling his things to replace things he broke.

I agree, particularly because you've already had to cover the cost of one smashed TV. Now he needs to face the consequences of his actions. TVs cost money. It's not the kind of thing you can keep replacing indefinitely.

[SavoyCabbage]

I would sell his stuff too. He can't be smashing TVs over and over!

[elephantoverthehill]

If he plays his X Box on the TV leave it for a few weeks. Explain that you cannot afford to replace the TV this month. I get cross with my dcs on the Xbox - it is supposed to be recreation and enjoyable - if it makes you angry DON'T DO IT.

[jennyt19]

I told him we should sell his stuff. I'm going to chew it over. He has end of year tests coming up and I'm thinking we should use it as leverage at the very least.

I've told my husband we are not replacing the TV and he's adamant we should but I said we are just going to have to make this sacrifice for the sake of our DS as I'm worried what sort of person he's turning into. He can't go through life flipping every time something doesn't go his way.

[Wolfiefan]

So how long does he spend on it?
What techniques have you suggested to help him control his anger?

[LaurieFairyCake]

Put a new TV in your bedroom

No TV for your kid to play his x box on then

Natural consequence

[AnyFucker]

Get a TV for the family but sell the x box

It's pretty simple really

Why are you giving him advance warning ? He's had two more chances than he should have had. Just do it. You are in charge...aren't you ?

[Brainnotbrawn]

It is pretty umamious there OP. I take it you or your DP dabbles in Xbox given that you don't seem to be entertaining the notion of getting rid of it.

[steppemum]

what does he play on the x box?
This may be relevant to the aggression issue. Ban all games that are not 12 or under.

He needs a more serious consequence.
YY to selling his sstuff to replace tv. Or, if you replace it, then he is banned from it for a long time, until his allowance/pocket money would pay towards the new one. Maybe get basic second hand, nothing fancy one that he could actually save towards? Or put replacement TV in your room only.

Or put a price on chores, and set him to work to earn it. Stuff he doesn't normally do - mowing lawn, clear out the garage etc.

[Brokenbiscuit]

I don't think the rest of the family should be punished for what ds has done. Tbh, I'm not a fan of punishments anyway, but I do think he needs to understand that there are consequences to his actions.

I would explain how much it will cost to replace the TV and then ask which of his possessions he intends to sell in order to raise the cash.

If the X-box is leading to poor behaviour or bad moods, I'd be pointing this out to him, and advising him that if he couldn't control this issue himself, then I'd have to "help" by removing the cause of the problem.

[notapizzaeater]

I'd be selling the Xbox too, how will he learn if he has no consequences (or ones that make a difference ? )

[titchy]

You're going to chew it over What is there to chew over. Ffs parent the kid. Stop fannying around. You need to sort this NOW. You won't be able to when he's 18, smashing up your house and stealing your car.

[RomComPhooey]

Titchy has a point. The fact you and your husband can't even agree on a united front can't be helping.