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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Threatened w legal action for reporting underage teen party???

171 replies

Debsnz · 02/05/2016 09:35

Hi I'm new here and somewhat gob smacked right now.

Over the weekend, I found that my teenage daughter had snuck out. She wasn't answering her phone, so I rang the police to report her missing and started driving around to try to find her.

I did eventually find her, walking the street with two friends. I told them to get in the car, which they did, and I immediately noticed the unmistakable smell of alcohol. My daughter swore she wasn't drinking, and I checked her breath, and she hadn't been. It was her friends.

So I took them back to their house, and got out the car to walk to the front door - intending to talk to their parents. Suddenly my daughters friend blocked my way and told me in no uncertain terms that I wasn't allowed in. I said I wanted to talk to her mother. She said, smugly, you can't - she's away for the weekend with her boyfriend. At this point I noticed movement in the house behind her; there were dozens of teenagers. Obviously, having a party while mum was away.

I said does your mother know you're having a party? To which she said yes she does and she said its ok. I was doubtful, and not at all impressed with her attitude. I told her that she is underage and it is illegal to drink without parental supervision; she continued to smugly smirk at me. I was shocked at her utter rudeness and disrespect.

I didn't believe her; besides, the police has asked me (on my earlier phone call) to let them know if I managed to locate my daughter. So I pulled out my phone, rang the police and told them the address, that there was an underage party going on with teen drinking and no parental supervision and perhaps they might want to come break it up. At this point, many of the teenagers left - they didn't want to get arrested, obviously.

In the meantime my daughter was crying that I was ruining her life, to which I said perhaps she'll think twice before she ever sneaks out to any other parties, then. I also gave the police the mothers contact details.

Tonight, having calmed down, I sent a text to the friends mother letting her know that I had discovered her kids walking the street drinking, and that when I took them home I discovered a house full of teenagers having a party. Perhaps I was naive, but I did not expect her response - that she had been talking to her lawyers and I would be receiving a letter from them soon, and to never contact her again! All I can think is that her "dear" children must have lied in order to avoid getting in trouble.

I'm flabbergasted. I admit I was very angry - I was worried sick when I discovered my daughter missing, and I couldn't believe her friends would be so rude and disrespectful - but I never would have thought someone would threaten legal action just because I contacted the police. Surely, she should've been grateful that I broke the party up so that her house didn't end up destroyed or anyone hurt (or worse) as is so often the case with underage drinking?

I'm not a complete goody-two-shoes fun police; I just don't think it's safe for kids to be drinking without any adults present, I definitely don't think teenage girls should be wandering round the streets at night drinking, anything could happen to them. Am I just old fashioned? Or is it the other mother with the problem?

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Pixilicious · 02/05/2016 09:37

I'd ignore her response, silly cow. What does she think a solicitors letter will do? You haven't done anything wrong have you so who cares what she says. Also, shows what angriest parent she is!