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Threatened w legal action for reporting underage teen party???

(172 Posts)
Debsnz Mon 02-May-16 09:35:00

Hi I'm new here and somewhat gob smacked right now.

Over the weekend, I found that my teenage daughter had snuck out. She wasn't answering her phone, so I rang the police to report her missing and started driving around to try to find her.

I did eventually find her, walking the street with two friends. I told them to get in the car, which they did, and I immediately noticed the unmistakable smell of alcohol. My daughter swore she wasn't drinking, and I checked her breath, and she hadn't been. It was her friends.

So I took them back to their house, and got out the car to walk to the front door - intending to talk to their parents. Suddenly my daughters friend blocked my way and told me in no uncertain terms that I wasn't allowed in. I said I wanted to talk to her mother. She said, smugly, you can't - she's away for the weekend with her boyfriend. At this point I noticed movement in the house behind her; there were dozens of teenagers. Obviously, having a party while mum was away.

I said does your mother know you're having a party? To which she said yes she does and she said its ok. I was doubtful, and not at all impressed with her attitude. I told her that she is underage and it is illegal to drink without parental supervision; she continued to smugly smirk at me. I was shocked at her utter rudeness and disrespect.

I didn't believe her; besides, the police has asked me (on my earlier phone call) to let them know if I managed to locate my daughter. So I pulled out my phone, rang the police and told them the address, that there was an underage party going on with teen drinking and no parental supervision and perhaps they might want to come break it up. At this point, many of the teenagers left - they didn't want to get arrested, obviously.

In the meantime my daughter was crying that I was ruining her life, to which I said perhaps she'll think twice before she ever sneaks out to any other parties, then. I also gave the police the mothers contact details.

Tonight, having calmed down, I sent a text to the friends mother letting her know that I had discovered her kids walking the street drinking, and that when I took them home I discovered a house full of teenagers having a party. Perhaps I was naive, but I did not expect her response - that she had been talking to her lawyers and I would be receiving a letter from them soon, and to never contact her again! All I can think is that her "dear" children must have lied in order to avoid getting in trouble.

I'm flabbergasted. I admit I was very angry - I was worried sick when I discovered my daughter missing, and I couldn't believe her friends would be so rude and disrespectful - but I never would have thought someone would threaten legal action just because I contacted the police. Surely, she should've been grateful that I broke the party up so that her house didn't end up destroyed or anyone hurt (or worse) as is so often the case with underage drinking?

I'm not a complete goody-two-shoes fun police; I just don't think it's safe for kids to be drinking without any adults present, I definitely don't think teenage girls should be wandering round the streets at night drinking, anything could happen to them. Am I just old fashioned? Or is it the other mother with the problem?

Pixilicious Mon 02-May-16 09:37:42

I'd ignore her response, silly cow. What does she think a solicitors letter will do? You haven't done anything wrong have you so who cares what she says. Also, shows what angriest parent she is!

DontKillMyVibe Mon 02-May-16 09:38:30

What age are these teenagers? Before I can respond properly there is a vast difference between 13 & 17. Presumably they are old enough that the mother feels like she can leave her DD alone overnight.

BooAvenue Mon 02-May-16 09:42:16

How old are these teenagers?

ProseccoPoppy Mon 02-May-16 09:43:19

Hahaha! That letter if she can even persuade anyone to send one should be good for a laugh! What does she think any actual real, non fictional lawyer is going to put in that!

Debsnz Mon 02-May-16 09:43:56

My daughter and the other girl are both 16; her (former) friends younger brother is 15. So presumably the other kids were all around the same age.

I'd love to know what the solicitor said when she talked to them. Something like "what do you expect me to do you daft cow?" (Under their breath)

But yes the age of the teens does make a difference.

Biscetti Mon 02-May-16 09:44:45

It's illegal to drink alcohol at home as a teen, when parents are out? Nope, it's not.

None of your business really. You found your daughter. Bollock her, but keep the fuck out of other people's business.

BooAvenue Mon 02-May-16 09:46:05

Well if the parent has allowed her 16 year old to have a party at home in her absence (which she may well have done), I can see why she's seriously pissed off at you for phoning the police!

Biscetti Mon 02-May-16 09:47:36

Dozens of teenagers? Really? You noticed movement? If there were dozens (you know, like 36++ teenagers) you'd have heard a whole lot of noise well before you noticed movement

If this happened.

GlitteryShoes Mon 02-May-16 09:48:06

It sounds like the teens have intercepted her phone to me.

FWIW I think you were a bit over the top. Your daughter must be mortified

insancerre Mon 02-May-16 09:48:15

I don't think they were actually breaking any laws
You do sound a bit highly strung

Debsnz Mon 02-May-16 09:48:27

I have no idea what she thinks she's going to put in it - part of me almost hopes she does; obviously I'm not going to waste money on legal fees myself but if she wants to, perhaps I can help her to spend more by sending a letter back to her lawyer smile

dailymailphequers Mon 02-May-16 09:48:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FannyFifer Mon 02-May-16 09:49:22

Your poor daughter. What an absolute embarrassment.

Jeremysfavouriteaunt Mon 02-May-16 09:49:25

If this is true, I am flabbergasted that you called the police because your 15 yo didn't answer her phone for a bit.

BigSandyBalls2015 Mon 02-May-16 09:49:29

Social suicide for your DD, with mum behaving like that. I can understand your concern but once you had found your DD you should have left it at that ..... she hadn't even been drinking!!

Had she asked to go to this party? Why do you think she had to sneak out?

I do sympathise, I have two 15 year old DDs but I think you've handled this badly.

Biscetti Mon 02-May-16 09:50:44

The more I think about it the more I'm confused. Lawyers contacted on a bank holiday weekend. Gosh, I knew they worked hard, but this is something else.

If it happened, obvs.

GlitteryShoes Mon 02-May-16 09:51:08

And reporting your daughter sneaking out at 16? That's way OTT unless she is particularly vulnerable. it is really hard to parent teens, but maybe count to 10 before doing anything drastic.

dailymailphequers Mon 02-May-16 09:51:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoreenLethal Mon 02-May-16 09:51:51

16. Good grief. Remove the cork a little will you love - no wonder she sneaked out!

GlitteryShoes Mon 02-May-16 09:51:52

No one has contacted lawyers. I bet it's the teen.

insancerre Mon 02-May-16 09:52:00

Hang on,
Who was having the party?
You found your dd's friend walking the street and took her home where there was already a party in full swing?

DoomGloomAndKaboom Mon 02-May-16 09:52:06

I think her children have told her a pack of lies about what you did. Expect to hear you waved a gun around or something. Or (more likely, obv) that you're being sued for emotional distress after you showed her precious snowflakes up in front of their friends. If that's the case, good luck to her. And her snowflakes.

I would contact the police at this point, ask them what they have recorded from the incident as the mother of the teenagers seems to think that you have done something wrong.

dailymailphequers Mon 02-May-16 09:53:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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