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Teenagers

sons first breakup

8 replies

otherness · 22/04/2016 18:11

Any thoughts?

My Sons girlfriend cheated on him . She blames booze . And a self destructive nature . She now says the L word . As a deconstructed Dad I'm thinking , it's a dead end .

Any thoughts ?

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SirChenjin · 22/04/2016 18:15

He's a teenager and so nothing you say about her will change his mind because he luuuuurves her. Do you not remember your teens?!

Stay neutral is my advice - say nothing negative or positive about her. Don't get involved in the dramas, and encourage his friendships, outside interests and studying. Keep repeating "it's a phase, it's a phase" and dance a private jig when she moves on.

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OzzieFem · 22/04/2016 20:11

Stay silent, but listen to your son if he decides to confide in you. However, do not make negative comments about her, otherwise he might start defending her, and get angry with you.

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audreyharley · 23/04/2016 19:26

Stick out of it, help him where you can. What do you mean by "the L word".

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otherness · 23/04/2016 20:26

Love ...first time either have said it ....and came directly after this event

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otherness · 23/04/2016 20:41

Thank you all for replies , stay neutral , be there , . My head agrees . But...... Why did she tell him? Is it not absolving her own guilt ? They are not married , why hurt him ? Everytime she's out does he imagine the worst (for whatever reason) ? Could this be an elaborate convulated way for her to break ?

He has shown me their text dialogue , and her rationale and position is (I'm paraphrasing ) ....."why can't you see I was drunk , I was taken advantage of , I had 8 units of alcohol , why can't you understand???"

Anyways , I like the genuine authentic replies so far so I have added a little nuance and hope for more council to make more sense of this . Please

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PortiaCastis · 23/04/2016 20:49

I have a 17 year old dd and my advice to you is be neutral, don't ask questions and definitely do not diss the young lady. Your ds will come to you if he wants to talk. I know you feel for him and want to go and sort out his ex but honestly all these undying love teen hook ups all die out and they move on. Possibly may get back together thats why it's best to keep quiet about the girl.
Good Luck