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Asking uni students for rent or contribution during the summer months?

(22 Posts)
nerfqueen Sat 16-Apr-16 23:25:51

My daughter is currently at uni in her 1st year. She has returned for a month at Christmas and a month at easter. During the summer she will be home for 3 months.

We as a family stuggle each month financially, we are both working low paid jobs at the moment. Obviously when daughter was at home we received child benefit / child tax credit on her behalf which covered her needs.

I think I'm going to ask my daughter for a small amount when shes home for the summer to help out and was thinking maybe £15/£20 per week to help with food etc. Over easter and Christmas I didn't ask for anything but feel that as she will be here for 3 months we may need a little help to cover her expenses - she gets 3 meals plus snacks a day plus all her washing done. She is hoping to get a summer job too.

I would love to not have to do this but unfortunately our circumstances mean I may have to.

Does this seem reasonable? What do other people do?

OP’s posts: |
Smartiepants79 Sat 16-Apr-16 23:38:13

It very much depends on circumstances. l wouldn't charge, but we can afford to pay for them to be at home. My kids are still little but it's likely that when they go to uni any money they have wil have come from us in the first place anyway!
If you need the money and she has it then that's just the way it has to be. It's that or she buys her own food? And laundry detergent.
If she gets a job then she should be able to contribute.

jessica1808 Sun 17-Apr-16 00:18:00

If she does get a job then it's fair enough to pay a small amount to you but if not remember uni students often struggle for money themselves and she may have to start paying rent for her new place over summer.
(next take on lots of staff for summer, but in my experience despite christmas being shorter it's much easier to find retail work then food shops like m&s do short contracts for christmas hols)

corythatwas Sun 17-Apr-16 08:56:10

What are her circumstances like at uni? Is her maintenance grant enough to cover her living costs or is she going to need the money she can earn in the holidays to pay for food and books in term time?

Hassled Sun 17-Apr-16 08:59:34

I think it's fine if she gets a job. If she doesn't - well, she can't give you what she doesn't have.

insancerre Sun 17-Apr-16 09:03:56

Dd is in her first year of the uni but she still lives at home as its a local uni
She doesn't have a job and lives off her student loan
I dont charge her anything and I pay her £20 a week towards travel costs and lunch costs at uni

scotsgirl64 Sun 17-Apr-16 10:59:44

Unless she is able to get a job, Realistically I think it's going to be difficult for your daughter to be able to 2 dd struggle over the summer holidays, although they get their final student loan early April( so only have about 6 -8 weeks term left) they've also to pay rent on their flats for next year over the summer holidays!....

HormonalHeap Sun 17-Apr-16 17:14:47

She's a student- I don't think I could charge my own child for living in her own home in the holidaysconfused

BombadierFritz Sun 17-Apr-16 17:27:49

Is she paying rent over the summer? If so, she might prefer to stay there and be self sufficient instead? I dont think i ever really went home again after leaving for uni. You could let her know about your plans now so she can decide

BackforGood Sun 17-Apr-16 17:34:56

Unless desperate, I wouldn't charge my own dc for food whilst they were at University. I stop giving him money for food, but all his Summer job earning are there to pay off his overdraft save up for expenses in the coming year.
Obviously if your budget is so tight you actually cannot put food on the table, then you will have to - in which case you don't need to ask here. If it isn't that tight, then I think it would be harsh.

BackforGood Sun 17-Apr-16 17:36:01

They will presumably also be paying rent on their accommodation at University as well.

GooseberryRoolz Sun 17-Apr-16 17:49:08

If she gets a summer job, then it's absolutely reasonable. You have to do what your circumstances dictate to make the books balance. It's a good lesson for her (make sure you outline the underlying budgetary reasons to her).

Things might be a bit trickier if she can't find a job for a while; I doubt her term time student finance will stretch to summer board payments.

GooseberryRoolz Sun 17-Apr-16 17:55:09

If she is coming to the end of her first year now, she caught the last year of grants too (hopefully?) which must help her.

Don't feel bad. Some posters seem to be commenting thoughtlessly from comfortable financial positions, but you gave her the support and upbringing that got her this far. A few £££s for housekeeping won't kill her wink

AndNowItsSeven Sun 17-Apr-16 17:58:29

If she has a job then yes ask for the actual cost of food. If she doesn't get a job then no. How did you support her before uni? Child benefit and tax credits don't cover the full cost of supporting a child.

FreedomMummy Sun 17-Apr-16 18:03:45

My parents charged me and if I'm totally honest I resent them a little bit for it.
I had to pay rent on my uni accommodation over the summer even though I wasn't living there (and neither were any of my friends).
I had a job but that was because I couldn't afford to do uni without working every holiday.
You may be struggling financially but so will your daughter if she's like most students.
Of course if she has got loads of money and is planning on just hanging around and/or going on holiday charge her.
I think in your position I would have an honest conversation about where both parties are at with finances.
My parents didn't and I ended up maxing out my overdraft.

MuttonCadet Sun 17-Apr-16 18:08:54

I'm not in your position, I'd like to think that I wouldn't particularly if she's having to still pay rent on her uni accommodation.

Are you still with her dad? (I only ask because I was thinking that you could ask him to contribute).

bigTillyMint Mon 18-Apr-16 14:48:16

If she gets a job for the summer, I think she could give you at least the cost of her food. But if she can't get a job, how would she be able to pay? Surely it would just increase her debt? And if she has to pay rent during the summer, she might as well just stay there rather than come home?

kslatts Mon 18-Apr-16 15:40:10

I think it is harsh to ask her for rent over the summer, but it obviously depends how tight financially things are.

Will your food shopping bill really go up by having her at home, could you just cook the same amount and share it between one more, or buy cheaper products over the summer so the weekly food bill is the same.

nerfqueen Mon 18-Apr-16 16:07:33

Thanks for your replies everyone. Believe me this is not something I'm considering doing without a lot of thought, it upsets me that I'm even thinking about it.

However, I don't think I may have a choice. Money is tight, and my bills go up when she is home, she has a healthy appetite and being a female showers are long and hot!!

I am aware that students struggle financially too. But, she is like me she budgets well, she is surviving on her loans/grants and does not have an overdraft. She also has not touched her savings from her previous job or the money I gave her when she turned 18 (not a great amount but been saving a little bit for 18 yrs for her).

I'm not with her dad, I'm remarried have 2 other children. Her dad is with someone else, lives in a 3 bedroom house and won't even allow her to stay during the summer despite having 2 spare bedrooms, but that's a whole different story........

OP’s posts: |
bigTillyMint Mon 18-Apr-16 16:54:45

Nerfqueen she sounds like she's totally a credit to yousmile How fantastic that she is so good at managing her money - it will stand her in really good stead. And how sad about her dad. Definitely his loss.

It sounds like she's no shirker and possibly likely to get a summer job. I bet she would understand and pay you something towards her keep.

YouMakeMyDreams Mon 18-Apr-16 17:03:11

I am always a bit baffled at the people who say they won't charge their dc for living in their own home. hmm do you live there for free then? My children are still children but when they are adults they will be expected to contribute in one way or another. If they are working financially and if they aren't I'm work either a student or unemployed they will have to contribute to the running of the household ie helping with cleaning and cooking if they are the one at home during the day and dh and I are at work.
It's my home too and I have to pay to keep it running why shouldn't another adult in the house as well? I also think some people have no idea what it's actually like to scrape by. Some people have no choice.

floraldresser Sat 23-Apr-16 14:43:43

I think it's fine as long as she has the money. £20 a week would be a dream if I didn't live at home!

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