Siblings not getting along

[Sammy1996]

Hi,

I was wondering if any of you could give me any advice, I am 19 years old and i live at home with my parents, brother and sister when i am not at uni.

When I was 13 i got sexually abused by my brother (only one incident, i don't think he is dangerous again i think he was a stupid 14 year old boy who got carried away and made a stupid mistake), but i find it really difficult to get along with him. I always snap at him and i know what i say is harsh and in arguments i go way below the belt and attack his weaknesses.

Its got to the point where i am really upsetting my mother and i am isolating my brother, when i am in the same room as him i make harsh comments. My mum says it seems like i am 'bullying him', I am also making him very insecure and attacking his personality. I know what i am saying and doing is mean but part of me can't help it.

My question is; as a parent yourself is it worth me making effort and making amends with my brother and just dropping what has happened and move on?

Any advice would be appreciated, thanks x

[Mummyof02]

Hi sammy, it sounds like you've been quite serverly affected by what your brother did to you which is why your sometimes mean to him because your still hurting from it perhaps? have you thought of counselling? Talking to someone getting it off your chest? Once you speak to someone about you feel about what happened to you your be able to make amends with your brother and feel better for it. You could even try self expressing how you feel, write it down you don't have to keep what you wrote you could throw it away the point of the excersise is to self express how your feeling without taking it out on you or anyone else in order to get over it, hope this helps x