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DD 18 Tomorrow

(7 Posts)
Protonbomb Tue 29-Mar-16 18:45:01

So her dad turned up yesterday with £500, and a quick chat on the doorstep (he wont come in the house). She has seen him maybe 12 times in her entire life (we left when she was 1) and I have no problem with her seeing him, she has his number and his girlfriend by her own admission has called him a rubbish dad. I think the sum total of maintenance I've had from him over the years is about £290.
Pisses me off that he thinks that this is all ok. His brother and sisters have a rake of kids, his brothers even have a child each by the same girl. Next time she'll see him is Christmas Eve. Even tho she never complains, she never seeks him out and she classes my husband as her dad it just made me feel so sad for her.

Clare1971 Thu 31-Mar-16 17:34:58

It is sad. Sounds as if she's very lucky to have your DH. I think having a good male roll model is the key thing, it doesn't have to be biological father. And your DD sounds very sensible to accept the limited involvement without being desperate for him to do more. She clearly has enough love from you and DH and isn't feeling she needs to chase after biological dad!

cocochanel21 Thu 31-Mar-16 18:03:10

My Dd1 had a dad like that. He left me when I found out I was pregnant. Never received ANY maintenance ever. He did turn up again when dd was a teenager but that didn't last long either. Luckily DH was a brilliant step dad and was the only dad she knew.

Sadly my dd died last year at (23). He actually had the nerve to turn up and play the grief stricken dad after ignoring her for years. He couldn't make the funeral because he was heartbroken he did manage to spend the day in the pub with his girlfriend getting pissed.
Men like your EX give me the rage.

rogueantimatter Fri 01-Apr-16 10:02:43

I'm so sorry to read your post cocochanel21. flowers

proton my DF was like this too. Almost no maintenance paid to my mum. Saw him twice a year. Some people just aren't cut out for family life.

Protonbomb Thu 07-Jul-16 20:36:40

Hi ladies

Sorry for my tardy response and we are so much farther on into the year.

I felt so sad for her at the time of my OP, however.....

DD off to Uni, no mention of her 'sperm donor' as she has him stored in her phone, and she spent all her birthday money from him on crap from - my DM told her to buy a watch or something special with the money, she said no - that would be a reminder......

Why are our children so much better than us at all 'this


Northernlurker Thu 07-Jul-16 20:41:13

You clearly raised a secure and sensible woman. Well done.

Protonbomb Sun 10-Jul-16 22:39:55

Thank you Northernlurker - its good to know sometimes that your own judgement isn't off the scale.....

btw sorry - farther - I meant further...guess Freud would have something to say about that...

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