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Not sure what to do about DD1 (14)

(6 Posts)
WhenTheDragonsCame Sun 13-Mar-16 18:31:45

Just need a bit of advice really.

DD1 is getting into a lot of trouble at school (I have had a previous thread about it) and it is looking likely that she will be suspended tomorrow for the second time. This time it was because she had a detention on Friday but refused to go and just came home instead. I am at university 35 miles away so wasn't here at the time.

I have grounded her for the weekend but while I was in the kitchen she has sneaked out. I have tried phoning but it seems to be turned off. Her boyfriend has said that she isn't with him and her best friend isn't answering my messages. I will go looking for her but not really sure where she will be and I have two younger DDs here.

I have changed the password on the internet and removed the laptop from her room but I just don't know what to do. I am on my own and my parents are 2.5 hours away so I don't want to contact them as they worry.

She has no concept of time really (I told her that she needed to do something at 25 minutes past 10 yesterday and she asked what time that was).

The school are saying that they are helping but they just email every time she does something wrong asking me to talk to her, which I do but even though she agrees with what I am saying it doesn't change anything. Nothing I do makes any difference. I have to hide money or she will steal it even though she gets £20 a month. If I buy yoghurts she will eat 10 in 48 hours.

Not really sure what I am expecting from this I am just at breaking point.

Crasterwaves Sun 13-Mar-16 18:52:04

I have no ideas as mine are much smaller but I'm just sending you some in mn hugs in case that helps (hope it's not annoying).

I hope someone comes along soon with some answers..

Crasterwaves Sun 13-Mar-16 18:52:26

Un mn not in mn - sorry

Sadik Sun 13-Mar-16 19:20:21

Firstly, I should say that my dd is very different, and the issues we've had aren't about the same sort of things. But, I'd still very strongly recommend the book 'Divas and Doorslammers' - it has some really practical suggestions for how to basically take back control when things are spiralling downwards.

(A lot of people recommend 'Get out of my life but first take me & Alex into town' - that's very good for understanding why your teen is being impossible, but IMO Divas & Doorslammers is better for doing something about it!)

WhenTheDragonsCame Sun 13-Mar-16 19:59:49

Thank you. I will take a look at the book suggestion. She has got in with a group of friends who aren't very good for her, they aren't to blame for the bad behaviour but the certainly encourage it.

JustDanceAddict Mon 14-Mar-16 10:21:04

Agree with Divas and Doorslammers. I lent mine to my BIL for niece as she is acting up, but he hasn't read it!!!

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