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Am I being unreasonable?

(39 Posts)
sofia2000 Thu 03-Mar-16 20:20:39

Hi everyone
I am the mother of two teenagers - a boy age 13 and a girl age 15.
It is my husbands birthday tomorrow and rather than giving him a present, I told the kids that we would be taking their dad out for dinner tomorrow. However, they seemed unhappy when I told them that they would be paying a third of the cost each.
Is it unreasonable of me to ask my children to pay a part of the bill when we go out for dinner tomorrow?
Any answers would be greatly appreciated.

NoahVale Thu 03-Mar-16 20:22:34

where do they get their money?
will it be a lot?
it doesn't sound like the best present from their point of view.

daffodilsandbooks Thu 03-Mar-16 20:24:14

I think the two things you did wrong was tell not ask and gave them hardly any notice?

Think about it - if on here an adult had posted her sister or brother had announced that a dinner would take place they would have to contribute to would be taking place the next day I think the resounding response would be they would not be unreasonable to be irked.

SlinkyVagabond Thu 03-Mar-16 20:26:35

Why don't you have a biscuit instead? Don't be daft.

stayathomegardener Thu 03-Mar-16 20:26:37

If you consider them old enough to pay then they are old enough to decide what to spend their own money on or to indeed not spend it at all. UABVU

wickedwaterwitch Thu 03-Mar-16 20:27:36

I wouldn't ask that of my children tbh, I'd let them spend what they wanted in a present from them


MrsPigling Thu 03-Mar-16 20:27:40


If you want the ££ tomorrow night YABU
If you give them minimal / low amount of pocket money YABU
If you're going to an expensive restaurant YABU

ThroughThickAndThin01 Thu 03-Mar-16 20:28:59


If wouldn't cross my mind to ask them to pay.

ajandjjmum Thu 03-Mar-16 20:29:46

You buy dinner, DC buy the presents they choose.

IHaveBrilloHair Thu 03-Mar-16 20:31:34

I wouldn't make them pay.

Katenka Thu 03-Mar-16 20:33:57

Yabu. You can't choose what the present is and then demand they pay a third of it.

If they are old enough to spend their own money, they are old enough to decide what to get him.

I would never expect my kids to pay for a meal out. Especially if it was my choice.

So the gift you got for your husband is paying for your own meal and a third of his? And their present to him is paying for their own meal and then a third of his meal?

TurnOffTheTv Thu 03-Mar-16 20:35:43

That's pretty shit. I've got teens and no way would I make them pay for a share of a birthday dinner, which could easily be £100 for the four of you.

I would however have expected them to get cards and presents for him.

TheFairyCaravan Thu 03-Mar-16 20:35:57

My children are 19 (at uni and has a p/t job) and 21 (works full time), if I told them we were all going out for their dad's birthday I would not expect them to pay. I certainly would not ask a 13 & 15 yo to pay.

PenelopePitstops Thu 03-Mar-16 20:37:00

WTF of course you are.

ImperialBlether Thu 03-Mar-16 20:37:07

So you made the decision to go out but you want them to pay 2/3rds of it? Maybe they'd rather buy him a DVD or something?

sofia2000 Thu 03-Mar-16 20:38:19

My daughter gets £10 a month and my son doesn't receive any pocket money yet.

ButterIsAngelSpunk Thu 03-Mar-16 20:39:15

I'm almost 28, my sisters are 25 and 22 - my mum still pays when we go out for dinner if it's something she's organised, although we do offer to chip in!

Katenka Thu 03-Mar-16 20:39:48

Wow definitely unreasonable.

Where do you expect a 13 year old to get the money?

And how do expect the older one to afford a third of a meal out with £10 per month?

TheFairyCaravan Thu 03-Mar-16 20:40:11

So how is your son going to pay then?

sofia2000 Thu 03-Mar-16 20:40:46

Also, my daughter has arranged some presents from herself and her brother for their dad.

PoppieD Thu 03-Mar-16 20:41:11

Do they have some other form of income??

TurnOffTheTv Thu 03-Mar-16 20:41:26

So how are they going to pay for the meal then?

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Thu 03-Mar-16 20:41:42

You are not serious surely.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Thu 03-Mar-16 20:41:49

How do you expect your son to pay when he doesn't have any money confused.

DragonsToSlayAndWineToDrink Thu 03-Mar-16 20:41:51


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