Long post warning!
This situation with DD (14 and in Y9) is driving me crazy at the moment and some advice would be great.
From about 3/4 through Y7 DD has been best friends with this one girl. Let's call her Sara. They are inseparable, do everything together, but I've never liked/been sure about Sara. She is so possessive of DD and capable of being so disrespectful and rude. Very self entitled too with an incredibly high opinion of herself. Have also heard other mums being very rude about Sara. However have not intervened with DD and Sara.
At the start of this year, the classes were mixed around. DD and Sara are no longer in the same class. In new class, DD makes friends with a girl - I'll call her Alice. DD really likes Alice, despite not spending lunchtimes together they walk between classes with each other and do paired work together.
To cut a long story short, Sara and Alice were very close for the first 3/4 of Y7 but then Alice dared to make some other friends (did nothing wrong as far as I can tell). Sara went crazy, bitched about Alice no end, ditched Alice and left her heartbroken. This is how Sara ended up as 'BFFS' with DD.
Since April Y7 Alice has tried many times to apologise to Sara and nearly 2 years on Sara is still being a bitch to her.
Anyway DD and Alice are becoming good friends and DD would love to start spending more time with Alice, see her out of school etc. But Sara is not having any of it. Anytime DD mentions Alice, says nice things etc, Sara screeches at her and forbids to become close with Alice.
DD is moaning every day about how she can't see Alice and it's driving me crazy because no matter how many times I say that Sara is being silly and she can't stop her from being friendly with Alice etc, DD doesn't listen.
I am desperately trying to encourage a friendship with Alice, met her at Parents Evening and she was a fantastic girl, have heard absolutely lovely things from other mums re Alice. Sara has been such a bad influence on DD.
Sara has zero motivation at school, DD used to work so hard but now her reports are shameful. DD did lots of dance and sport before Sara convinced her it 'ain't cool'. Basically Alice is exactly the friend that DD needs to get her back on track.
Gosh, this is so long. Sorry!
For anyone who has had a daughter in a similar situation/needing to be extracted from a friendship, how did you help? Any tips on how I can persuade DD that Sara just isn't worth it? How can I talk to and advise DD in a helpful and kind manner? I just want DD to be happy, the situation with Sara/Alice is getting her down a lot and I do feel that Sara manipulated her into this friendship. Friendships at this age are so hard and I just feel that DD is being controlled by Sara.
Thank you so much in advance.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.
Teenagers
How to extract DD from this friendship?
14 replies
sparklylemonade · 27/02/2016 20:47
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.