This is a bit of an odd one, so apologies in advance if it's a bit long.
DS is very nearly 16, has SEN/mental health issues so is a bit vulnerable although very bright.
DS has a particular hobby/interest (he has fixations that last a while then another takes it's place) along the lines of train spotting or bird watching. He belongs to online forums/email groups about the hobby, as does another adult family member.
This afternoon I had a message request from a man on FB saying he needed to contact me. He also sent a friend request but I didn't accept that as I don't know him. After quite a long winded message exchange it transpires this man has been in contact with my DS recently through this hobby forum. They were messaging regularly through FB and now the man is upset that my DS has suddenly blocked him when they were getting along 'so fantastically.'
I do not know this man, but his name, public FB page, manner of writing etc all suggest he is at least my age if not older. He says he was planning a visit to see DS and do this hobby later in the year and he is dreadfully upset that might not happen as they had arranged it all. I knew nothing of this. He keeps saying how well they get on and that he doesn't want 'it all to go to waste.' He wants me to talk to DS to get him to unblock him, and to make contact with me as that 'seemed like the right thing to do before he visits.'
It's freaked me out, though I am torn between thinking he is dodgy as fuck and thinking that if he was he wouldn't be contacting me to tell me about it all, and that perhaps he is a bit vulnerable himself. Hobby is such that it has appeal for Asperger's type personalities like DS so could be a social boundaries issue I suppose.
This man has sent lots of messages this afternoon, my only response has been that I will check DS is ok but he keeps messaging saying how much it means to him, how I need to 'please please' help him sort it out. And reassuring me he is not dodgy and it's just because they get on so well and have so much in common. I'm feeling really quite disturbed by it.
Haven't spoken to DS yet as other DC are about and think it would be better once they are in bed, and not sure how to broach it at all or if I should be doing anything else.
Am an LP so no one to discuss this with and would really appreciate any thoughts.
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Older man contacting teen DS, not sure what to do
60 replies
Muddlewitch · 20/02/2016 17:52
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