How Can I help her

(9 Posts)
mumslife Wed 10-Feb-16 18:43:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

circular Thu 11-Feb-16 21:13:33

Hi, not much advise to offer, just bumping for you and hope you get some helpful responses soon.
Very difficult, and more worrying for you with her being away. All I can suggest is to be there for her, and make sure she knows that.
Hopefully she has some good friends at Uni that are looking out for her too.
Take care, and try not to worry too much flowers

Scatter Fri 12-Feb-16 13:56:51

Hi Mumslife

Your poor daughter. So hard to live through a break up at any age, and so much harder when it's your first.

She sounds like a loving, caring and giving young woman and her ex-boyfriend sounds like he isn't there yet - perhaps still has some growing up to do to reach her level of emotional maturity.

I don't think you can do much more than you're doing, really. Be there for her, tell her she did nothing wrong but that he didn't deserve her and that life has a way of sorting out who you're meant to end up with in the end - sometimes there are bumpy bits along the way, and she is going through one, but it won't last forever.

Gosh it's hard being a mum and watching a child in pain though isn't it. Hope she is soon able to move on positively.

xx

mumslife Sat 13-Feb-16 17:33:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 13-Feb-16 18:02:46

Its horrible. It's so hard when your children are so hurt. You wish you could suffer for them. But it is a part of life. It happens all the time, either friendships or relationships breaking down. Learning how to cope with sadness and rejection is a life skill. They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, which in general I agree with.

My 19 year old Ds broke up with his 18 year old girlfriend after a year. It was awful, I felt so sad for her she was so upset. But they are teenagers, very Young, and the relationship wasn't right for him anymore. He couldn't just carry on with it for her sake, when it wasn't right for him.

My 15 year old DS is currently sad because his girlfriend of 5 months has just finished with him. I feel so p, so sad for him, it's hortible, but everyone has to go through it. Most people don't meet their life partners that young and upset and heartbreak is inevitable.

All you can do is be there for her to chat, and give comfort. She'll hopefully have some good mates and distractions, at uni, until she feels better about it all, and moves on.

mumslife Tue 16-Feb-16 12:40:29

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circular Tue 16-Feb-16 17:54:54

Just a thought mumslife, but if your DD has recently found out about the important lies, maybe it will help her get over things quicker. Ie. Him not being the person she thought he was, that she fell in love with.

NickiFury Wed 17-Feb-16 13:06:32

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/feb/16/why-relationship-breakups-hurt-brain-neuroscience

I've always found this idea helpful - that break pain is a chemical one and as such will pass, like any other imbalance. It feels so physical and painful that it can be scary sometimes I think.

mumslife Wed 17-Feb-16 20:07:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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