in all my years I have never met girls so nasty(8 Posts)
My daughter is at a critical stage in her life with GCSE's and she has a lot of distractions like friends and boyfriends, she fell out with all of her friends she only has a small group of 4 people! But I feel like she cares about them so much and she appears to be the out cast, the odd one out. None of the people in her group bother with her she is always the one trying to make plans with them and they say yes but all of a sudden they bail on her every time. She felt really unwanted today as all of the girls made comments such as "get out of my conversation" or "get off of me" and she felt really unwanted which is the worst feeling! She has no other friends so she went to art and sat there in tears on the phone to me and my heart absolutely sank!!! I haven't got a clue what to do, someone please help me xxxxx
Ah bless her it's so horrible when this happens. Your heart breaks for them. Girls can be so awful. I have a DD so I've been there - and I'm pretty sure she has also been horrible as well as being on the receiving end. Would it help to have a sleepover at yours? They enjoy them so usually go for it. Or better still - any chance of making new friends? Anywhere else she mixes with others? Clubs etc. Though at that age school is all important, I know. Hope it improves, girls are usually up and down with these things. They'll probably be fine with her tomorrow
Is it all girls school?! DD has similar stuff but I have noticed when things are great between her and her friends she is quite happy to bitch about whoever else is being pushed out,(over hear her on FaceTime!) they seem to take it in turns its not nice at all but what can you do apart from to hope they find some real friends.
Sorry to hear this Shan, I have a DD 13yr I know exactly how it can be, trust me, I have constant problems to deal with!!!!
One question springs to mind is that are these 'friends' EVER pleasant or is it constantly like this? If so they are not really friends and she do with methods of distancing herself and trying to find new ones, maybe throught some hobbies or groups. You say she rang you so does she readily talk to you about what the problems are? How do you think she behaves to the other girls herself, could anything she does be leading to any problems? Not suggesting it his her fault just trying to explore avenues. Do you think she is trying to do too much to please them maybe?
I don't feel I';ve been much help but rest assured you are not alone, girls (and the boys) can be awful at this age, you only hope they grow up and realise not to bother with the nasty ones and stick to the nicer ones.
Meanwhile reassure her as much as you can, oh and is there anyone at school she can talk to, adult I mean? Best wishes.
Make sure she is doing activities outside of school where she can form friendships that are away from school.
This is so sad, but common. I'd be encouraging her to make friends outside of school, to have a wider and more varied circle that these girls are merely part of.
my DD is the same (14 in a few weeks). Girls don't include her in most activities. I nosey on their facebook with her and it seems they do a lot and dont invite DD. there is a ringleader. I have never taken to this girl. she also has a sister who is a yr older and she seems to be involved in a lot that the girls do.
thankfully DD is part of a sport team and the girls there are delightful! my DD smiles and laughs a lot when with them.
but the other gang...I dislike them.
Is your DD coming across as too needy? She might think she's just being friendly, but teens have a very sensitive 'needy' antenna and can be ruthless in crushing the hapless victim. Don't know what the solution is because you don't want your DD to start playing games - like pretending to be aloof or acting superior etc etc. But moving on is hard, especially among all the pressures of GCSEs. This is exactly the time our DCs need their friends.
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